My wife's great escape after christmas

After the disastrous arrival in the village, Carol said that she will spend a maximum of one week. And she meant it.

Although you brought a stand-by generator the following day, for the times when Kenya Power will play with their power, although the whole house was fumigated and bedding cleaned, although the food was remarkably better the second day, she was determined to leave as soon as she could excuse herself.

So, a day after Christmas, your mother pulled you to the side, and asked you: “Why are you guys in a rush to go back? Carol tells me you are going back tomorrow. You should have “crossed” the year here.”

That caught you off-guard. You were furious. Carol had outsmarted you the same way you had outsmarted her.

“Yeah, Carol has to be somewhere, that is why she chose to be here on Christmas but will “jump” the year somewhere else…”

You could see the disappointment in your mother’s eyes. They were getting along so well, cooking and gossiping. You eavesdropped on them, and they made such a formidable combination. But Carol, was badly disappointed by the debacle the first night and stopped short of being rude. She decided to be diplomatic about it by telling your mum that she had to leave. She was daring you to contradict her. And you had to grant her wish.

“Why did you decide that we have to leave after Christmas?” you asked her.

“Come on, I have stayed for a week, what more do you want from me? I have to go to the Coast before I can go back to work.”

You decide you can’t have it both ways.

And on the second day after Christmas, you hit the road coming to Nairobi before you both catch a flight to the Coast.

Carol is the type of woman who believes in unwinding and writing down her resolutions. And that is why she has made an annual ritual to unwind somewhere as she takes stock of the year. Annoyingly, she lives up to her resolutions. Since you have been married, and even while you were dating, she has been too methodical about life it can be annoying.

On the other hand, you are so pathetic at keeping even the simple promise to call someone back. Carol usually makes you feel terrible about yourself. She has specialised in that.

As you catch up, you ask her if she will stop going to the charismatic preacher’s church in 2018.

She hates the topic.

You ask her if she will stop being a religious fundamentalist. To thaw it down a bit.

Instead, you get more than you bargained for. She becomes preachy.

She wants you to stop drinking, to stop the occasional smoking. She wants you to leave the bad company of bachelor friends in 2018. She wants you to eat dinner at home every day. To help Li’l Farrah with homework. To start acting like an adult. And more.

You like her ambition. You have no desire to change absolutely. But you wish her well in her endeavour to be a good person.