Tough call: She wants to go to the coast, you want to head to the village

The person who was faced with the most difficult decision of his life besides Maraga, early this week, was you. Carol wants a three-week vacation at the Coast then three days in the village for Christmas. You want a weekend at the Coast, and three weeks in the countryside.

Carol is so furious at the mere thought of your suggestion, she screamed on your face.

“There are very cheap condos or apartments that we can afford at the Coast…” she told you, and it sounded like she is a woman in a movie. Either it is the magazine or the movies, she watches a lot.

“I think it is time Farrah knew the countryside and started interacting with her grandparents and cousins upcountry?” you told her plaintively.

“You kidding me, three weeks in the village…”

Last Christmas, she was madly furious for overstaying a day in the village. She was bored the first day you stepped in the village. One of your uncles so much got to her nerves, it took the grace of God to keep her from snapping and tripping.

But you are serious. This year, save for a funeral in April, you have not stepped in the countryside. True, your mum and dad have been to Nairobi and visited you a couple of times. True, there is nothing in the village that she can do for three weeks. True, she deserves a vacation in the Coast after a difficult year.

But, your folks in the village are complaining. They want to see your wife, or else they conclude, you are henpecked, you will never show up in the village, expect in a coffin. They have been skeptical of the woman you married from word go. You reason, if you took her to the village for three weeks, she will bond with everyone and that will remove any doubt from them about three things: one, that she is a snob; second; her tribe hates going to Western countryside; and third, if she is truly committed to you.

What will be more helpful, she is pregnant, and it is now visible. Nothing will cement the acceptance in the family than that. You try painting the bigger picture, but Carol hates big pictures. Damn it. If she wants to go to Coast, she has to go to Coast.

Now, you have to make a call, like Maraga, and explain to your old man that Carol may not make it home for Christmas. He will promptly remind you, how limited his time here on earth is, and why you should travel home more often. That breaks your heart.

“So, what if we do one week in the Coast, and two in the countryside?”

“The maximum number of days I can stay in shags is two, Saturday and Sunday. You know that, so stop your drama.”

“It is not like we will be at home all the two weeks! We will visit other aunts and uncles you have not met,” you persuaded her.

“I’m not really interested. They can visit us, if they want, or we can meet in another family function.”

She slammed the door on you. That means, she will be at the Coast and you will be in the countryside alone. You know very well your father will tell you to marry a girl from closer home…

“That is a sign…I know them!” He likes saying so, at any slightest excuse, which Carol never hesitates to offer.   @nyanchwani [email protected]