My husband won’t be intimate because I smell: Dealing with bad odour

My husband and I have been together for four years and our marriage has been good to say the least apart from one disturbing thing. For about a year now, he keeps telling me that I always have a funny smell. Sometimes I can detect a distant smell but he makes it sound really bad to the extent that we no longer have foreplay during sex.

I have tried everything including using roll on and I shower everyday, but he says the smell is still there. I am very embarrassed by this and have even lost self confidence since I cannot help but wonder how many other people actually pick up the smell. I don’t know what to do about this but I’m worried our intimacy is headed south, please help me... {Susan W}

Counsellor's take

A crucial issue in this matter is to understand what kind of smell he is talking about. If it can be attributed to sweating or lack of bodily hygiene, then the answer is to increase the number of times you shower. However, if it has to do with your genital parts then we may be facing a bigger problem and you may need a medical check-up as soon as possible.

Urinary tract and other kinds of infections are also known to cause such problems but they are easily manageable and treatable but with good medical care. Ignoring this now may cause you even deeper problems in future so I encourage you to have a proper medical check-up. You may also want to increase your intake of water and natural yoghurt as these two help in managing such issues but not to substitute professional care.

In your case, it is your husband who has noticed and we may not know who else is affected by this, but this is something that needs to be addressed in totality to ensure you get your confidence.

You may not have a problem but rather you may be engaged in rigorous activity during the day that may be exposing you to perspiration thereby bring out an odour by the time you get home. This is quite normal.

In sorting this, you may also try and ask him to be specific about the odour since every anomaly will have a particular kind of odour. Since he has already spoken out about this, he would be willing to help you get to its bottom, and the best way to do this is to provide you with accurate feedback. {Taurus}

Your Take

Susan, you must be going through a rough time. You might have a medical condition that can be diagnosed and treated sooner than you think. Your husband should be thinking of how to help you walk out of the embarrassment for you to get your esteem back. Also try bathing with non-cosmetic soaps. But for now, just treat it like a medical condition that is treatable. {Ouma Ragumo, Sifuyo}

Maybe your husband is playing hide-and-seek. A good husband helps in shaping his wife to become a unique and adorable woman. You should sit down and discuss the issue and consult a medical expert, this could be a small problem. {Vincent Arjen, Sega}

Your problem may not be as bad as you imagine. Sometimes our psyche plays games with us. This could also be the case with your husband. Share this with your closest female friend and ask her to be sincere. Seek the services of a gynaecologist. Remember this is a recent problem, meaning it is only temporary. {Tasma Charles}

Go to hospital for thorough medical examination. There has to be a cause! Your condition will be treated and soon things will get back to normal. Don’t be embarrassed. It’s not your fault but deal with it soon. (Zachy Jarapogi}

You have lived with this man for four years and he has never complained. His complaint may be genuine or fake. However, you need to see a gynaecologist and make sure your are thorough with your personal hygiene. Avoid scented lotion and soaps. Your husband should be the first person to help you seek help. Didn’t he marry you for good and bad times? {Onyango Outha Jauduny}