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My dad’s advice on marriage was very direct. His words were as assuring as they were discomforting: “Don’t be under any pressure to settle down and I will not push you into marriage. Take your time, for when you finally decide to settle down, when you finally leave my house and get married, there will be no coming back!”
What my father was drilling into my head is that, he would not welcome me back ati my marriage is over, yet I am the one who chose the man to marry.
Seems like the excuse of ‘losing your mind because you’re in love’ was not going to cut it for him. The short of it is, that is the reason I am still single. I want to be sure I will not be going back home to announce it is over, hence, I am taking my time.
Unfortunately, many men today are going for trophy wives - women they marry mainly for the image. The women could be from distinguished families, well-off or educated; someone to floss about. But there is a catch, the women are hardly wife material. But men are increasingly focusing on trivial things, that is why marriages are ending every other day.
The trophy woman may look glamorous and speak like her nose is permanently pinched with a peg. She may have several degrees and get guys staring at you with envy when you walk hand-in-hand on the streets. But that’s about it. There’s no way she’s going to mess her nails to fix you a meal. And if you can’t afford to maintain her expensive lifestyle, you might as well kiss the relationship goodbye. Don’t even get started about knocking her up - she’s not going to let anything ruin her shapely, well-toned body with stretch marks and baby fat!
I’ve heard of men who can’t even ask their wives to bail them out financially when they are down on their last coin, because they expect them to provide as husbands. Dear men, why do you insist on marrying independent and financially-endowed women when you can’t rely on them to chip in when things are tight? This is your wife for God’s sake. She is supposed to be your friend above anything else, someone you can talk to and who will have your back when the shit gets real.
Maybe the men should be blamed for living a lie. When dating, some of these men give the impression that they can never be broke. That’s a disaster waiting to happen. If you want to know the true character of your woman, just pretend you’re broke a few times when you’re still dating her to gauge her reaction. No money for the salon or that pretty dress she’s been eyeing. When you marry a woman who orders Chinese food, insists on eating out and is allergic to the kitchen, you can never prosper. After all, homemade food is healthier and much cheaper.
When you hear some of the things men say about what they are looking for in a woman, you’d want to pull out your hair. Character is never a prerequisite for the current breed of men, instead, they want graduates who are well-travelled, financially stable and speak at least four foreign languages! It’s not that these kind of women are bad, but those qualifications should be but added advantages.
The main focus should be on the values, ideals and character of the women. It defeats logic to go for a woman who appeals to your status, someone who will make the boys tremble with jealousy, but makes a terrible wife. What is the point of having a woman who has an hour-glass figure but cannot cook?
Trophy women often put their careers ahead of everything. And when they are married, things like domestic chores can always be taken care of by the house help. They will not submit and are sure to make your life a living hell. Not surprisingly, their husbands cheat with average plain Janes who make them feel like kings.
My advice to men is simple, marry wives, not trophies. You should marry a woman who is proud to be your wife and turn your house into a home.