Blame the pot-bellied man and not his sugar baby

I was having a conversation with a friend a few days ago and it gravitated towards the topic of sponsors. I know, talking about sponsors is so 2015 and we debated about this on Twitter and all, but a new question came up to me: why are people so against it? More importantly, why does most of the criticism fall on the young women who decide to engage in this “scratch my back- I scratch yours” type of relationship? As I’ve said before, I’m a feminist, so this completely baffles me. Also, boy-toys are becoming increasingly popular so let’s not pretend that chicks are the only ones who get sponsors.

The reason this bugs me so much is because it reminds me of the prostitution debate. A lot of times, we use prostitutes, no let me be more specific - female prostitutes - as the SI unit of complete immorality. If you really want to insult a woman, call her a prostitute. If you want to scare your young daughter into doing well in school, tell her that if she fails, she might end up on the streets selling her body. This kind of rhetoric really doesn’t make sense to me because I find prostitutes some of the most industrious people out there. Sure, some people say that it’s wrong to sell your body for money, that you can’t put a price on yourself - but did you ever stop to think and ask yourself why a lot of people turn to prostitution or sugar-baby-ism (if that’s even a thing)? Well, simply it’s because there is demand!

The whole sponsor conversation was centered around the “sponsees” but no one seemed to be asking why these older men are on the prowl for young women. They know that their money and influence will help this young woman advance herself and so they use that to lure them. Yes, yes, both parties are consenting adults and the man did not force the woman to be his side-piece. However, I firmly believe that the person with a willy and a wallet wields wealth. If I have a sponsor and he tells me that I must always dress a certain way when we are out, I have no option but to oblige and do as he says or say “bye-bye” to my income. This, to me, is a form of control, it’s not an equal partnership, and that’s why I feel much of the scrutiny should be placed on the men that choose to break their wedding vows and prey on young women.

Most of you who read this will still disagree and say that even though the sponsors are there, young women should refuse, and you are right, to some extent. Demand and supply have a symbiotic relationship where one cannot exist without the other. However, sponsors are the real problem here because they have chosen to use their money to attract young women instead of, I don’t know, maybe putting it in a trust fund for their kids. Let’s start putting the blame where it really should be. Maybe then if we can have sober judgement on small small issues like this we can be able to tackle more pertinent things like corruption.

**Kenyan Mwananchi is a blogger at wondalandavenue.blogspot.com and enjoys long drives through neighborhoods she can’t afford to live in.