First Kiss: A guide for clumsy men on how to kiss properly

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Interestingly, when it comes to the momentous first kiss with a new flame, most men conjure up positive feelings and sentiments, while women recall negative emotions.

So, how can one half of a couple deem a lip-lock euphoric while the other half terms it disastrous?

It all comes down to one thing: Men are blind to the body language cues that indicate whether a woman wants you to kiss her or not. Men slide into first base prematurely making what is supposed to be a blissful experience unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. Here is the thing; before you shove your tongue down a woman’s throat as you exchange copious amounts of saliva, she must have shown you unequivocally that she wants to be kissed by you.

Or at the very least, strongly implied that she would reciprocate your kiss. That first kiss should have her imagining doing more by the time your lips part, not planning a fast exit.

I remember my first kiss with one guy that was so awful it haunts me up to this day. It was our first date. He had taken me to a chic rooftop restaurant and lounge.

The date was a drag. The conversation was bland and there was no chemistry whatsoever. Not for me anyway. I had made up my mind that there was not going to be a second date long before we ordered dessert. I was relieved when he cleared the bill and it was time to leave. Everything was fine until we got to the elevator. As soon as the elevator doors closed he jumped at me with no warning whatsoever and jammed his tongue into my mouth. I bet my left kidney he copied that ambush straight out of a movie.

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It was revolting. The moment wasn’t right and it was forced. It felt like an attack. I was grossed out and disgusted. He had pinned me to the back of the elevator so I couldn’t pull away. I just stood there while he assaulted my mouth with his tongue. The amount of saliva he deposited in my mouth? Yuck!

It makes me sick to even think back to that experience. That elevator ride from the seventh floor to the ground floor was the longest in my life. I quickly called myself a taxi when we exited the building.

I didn’t want to risk getting into his car and find out that he had watched a movie of teenagers making out in the backseat and wanted to act it out.

Or worse, if he thought that the little spit swap in the elevator was going to culminate into a happy ending. Needless to say, I never saw him again. It was good riddance to bad rubbish. Dear men, if you are bad at reading social cues, please just ask her if she wants to be kissed. You can be flirty about it. Ask her “wanna taste my lips?” and watch her reaction. (One guy did that and I was so turned on we ended up making out for a solid fifteen minutes).

A good first kiss should validate the attraction between you two and confirm that you have sexual chemistry. There is no specified amount of time that dictates when a first kiss should happen.

It can happen in the first date or in the fifth date. It all depends on how well we connect. And always wet your lips before going for it. No one wants to be bruised with dry lips and given nightmares in the name of kissing.

Ladies if you ever find yourself in the company of a man who wants to force chemistry, get out. Fast! If the chemistry isn’t right, there is no need to drag it out.