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2017-06-07 11:03:27 The Standard : Eve Woman 40 58
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When the ‘cookie jar’ stinks

 When the ‘cookie jar’ stinks

ALSO READ: The harmful things women do to sexually entice their male partners

Hey big girl, ever read a book titled Power of the pussy? Only then will you know how much power, with the capacity to change the world is bestowed upon you. On one of those random days a friend I really liked called me out for a drink. I pulled out my little black dress, you know, one of those pretty dresses you accidentally-on-purpose hung on your wall like a trophy to precisely indicate that you have a social life? Yeah that one! I carefully dusted it just in case the little dress decided that, that day would be its last and shamelessly tare.

 I called an Uber and off I speed across town to Lang’ata where I was to meet my friend. The uber driver was very conversational and literally begged me to give a positive feedback about my ride. He sounded a little witty and would occasionally, during the ride, involve me in small talk. Weirdly, he kept warning me not to black out on his back seat. ‘Godamnit!!, I wasn’t even tipsy yet, I thought. I am chatty myself, and he wanted a conversation, so I lead him down through the labyrinth of his true spectacular self. The conversation was just getting interesting when he pulled up at the mall (my destination) and professionally informed me my charges for the ride. How quickly he changed from being so friendly to being very serious, I’d be damned if I knew that. Money just has a way of pissing people off. Talk of debt.

I paid for the ride and the little pissed nigga drove off in such a bad mood. Still don’t know why. I spotted my friend among a group of people and as soon as he saw me, he pulled another friend of his and they both walked towards me. We had the X and O’s greetings and off to party we went. How soon that party ended just before it began, I would know. Yes, that, I would know. One of the young men was surprisingly bold in his speech. Well I thought I was bold right up until i met this smart alec.

He was talking nineteen to the dozen so I didn't catch the whole story. At the back seat I sat quietly contemplating whether I should be up in arms or embarrassed by his choice of words. The fellow vividly expressed his first experience between the thighs of a lady. The fact that I was at the back seat did not seem to twitch the manner in which he expressed himself. I felt sad for the young lady in discussion but I tried to remain composed to get a grip of where exactly this conversation was going. With facial expressions and non-verbal cues he let us in on how smelly and dirty the lady’s cookie jar was. The amount of disrespect they directed to the lady in discussion was unbearable. For those who’d love to know, I lashed out at them, demanded that the car pull up and I sent them packing back to the whatever cave they came from. I called back my mood-swings-uber guy and off I was researching on some smelly issues such as these.

 

First and foremost, if it’s pungent down there, baby girl, figure it out before you he gags and looses his sense of smell.

 

ALSO READ: Why I refuse to be a side chic

  1. Watch what you eat.

Let’s call a spade, a spade. You are what you eat all the way down to where the fountains lay. You obviously don’t want your flower smelling like onions, garlic and curry..or do you? These are notorious ingredients known to affect body odor.

 

  1. It’s probably the medication.

Some antibiotics and supplements could affect the bacterial balance in your vagina releasing a bad odor.

 

  1. Sweat.

Honey, nobody loves the touch, the sight, and most of all the smell of sweat. Your region is prone to excessive sweating, just like your underarms. But unlike the underarms, it consistently releases discharge. A combination of sweat and discharge is just a new level of stank! Clean up!

 

  1. The forgotten tampon.

I am an old fashion kind of girl and truth be told, I have my own insecurities when it comes tampon talk. For the tampon big girls, clean up all little traces of tampon leftovers. Trust me you do not want to walk around smelling as if something crawled up there and died. It’s awful.

ALSO READ: Why routine Kegel exercises are a must for all women

 

  1. Hormonal changes

Good girl! Keep feeding on that birth control. That’s exactly where the stench comes from. Things such as virginal cream and birth controls can easily alter your hormones affecting its odor. Wrap up!

 

 

 

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  • When the ‘cookie jar’ stinks