Make merry: What would happen if government banned monogamy

Can you imagine seated at your favourite watering hole, enjoying cold breeze and a panoramic view and then you receive some important government decree.

No, it is not conscription into the armed forces or tax raises. Actually, the decree is the best information that an adult African male can possibly receive. Marry many wives or else risk jail term.

It was definitely too good to be true. Can you imagine the Government directing that you marry at least two wives and it gives you compensation for your troubles? Suppose it were to happen in Kenya?

The government would run serious campaigns akin to the fast moving consumer goods (FMCG) promotions that many Kenyans are fond off. Buy one get one free. We used to call it BOGOF. And you know what, these kinds of offers are always for a limited period.

So you can imagine men rushing to their Saccos to apply emergency loans so that they can take up the offer.

Kenyan male of all weights and gaits would flood into the street to celebrate the wisdom of the government of the day. We would temporary forget our political differences and pledge to work together as one nation in meeting the government’s requirement.

Make merry

We would also put aside our deep seated rivalry for our favourite football clubs be it Gor Mahia and AFC Leopards or Arsenal and Manchester United.

Love can make you do crazy things. If such an occasion would come along, we would be eager to share our love with people from various backgrounds and tribes. Forget the gory stories and stereotypes that are perpetuated by some people. Believe you me, if this offer was to come along, men would break free from their respective tribal cabals and make love not hatred among the Kenyan people.

When would make merry as they dance to that famous gospel jig double double blessings.

Just like in the 1960s and 1970s when everyone hoped to acquire a piece of land of the prime highlands hitherto occupied by the colonial masters, I suspect there will be an enterprising Kenyan who will try and organise mass registration and exodus into various counties so that they can benefit from this Government ‘offer’.

Knowing that most Kenyans know how to drive a hard bargain, I will not be surprised to see organised groups make holiday visits to sample the beauty that the Kenyan women have to offer.

The excitement with which Kenyan men greeted the news should be a wake-up call to the Kenyan women who have some sense of entitlement.

We have all been saying that there are more women than men in the world and there is need for the women to exercise some level of selflessness and agree to share.