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Things husbands are never consulted on

My Man
 Photo: Courtesy

So, you get home from work and whom do you run into first? Farah. Farah, the daughter Carol had with a monster of an ex. A beautiful girl with the misfortune of having a really stupid man for a father. But that has changed since you are effectively the father after that acrimonious settlement.

Farah has been staying with her grandmother since Carol wanted the two of you to have a blissful few months before you settle fully. Your son, from a previous relationship, stays with his mother who hates you to bits.

Farah is happy to see you. You actually like her. She takes so much after her mother and you can see in her the traces of vanity that you see in her mother. But she is a cool kid.

Now, you go to the kitchen to wash your hands and you bump into this girl, about 15 or 16. She looks nervous and overwhelmed. You say hi, she responds feebly. You go back to the bedroom and ask Carol, who the hell the girl is, and Carol tells you, she is your new nanny.

You feel slightly disgusted that she has not consulted you. But you don’t know why you feel that way. It would have been courteous to tell you that she left last weekend to pick them up, but she didn’t. You are a family of four now. That happened too fast.

“You didn’t tell me you were going for a house help, there is this young girl at home I wanted to bring...” you tell Carol.

“Why should I ask you. A house help is none of your business. And why the girl from your home specifically?” she asks dismissively, promptly becoming hostile.

You regret asking and you decide to mind your own business. But once you have three females in your house, things change dramatically. You will no longer feel at home. Besides, Carol has this annoying thing of making unanimous decisions when it comes to household stuff.

She may go and select electronics that you dislike, like LG products when you are a Samsung guy and she is rarely apologetic. She doesn’t need your opinion in fixing the house. And you do have some useful suggestions on how you can decorate your house, even better ideas, but she doesn’t care.

Why did you get married? You ask yourself when you are frustrated.

“Everything about the house is up to me. You can decide on the kind of family car we should buy, where to buy land and build, but inside the house, just shut up...” is her standard response. Maybe she is right. But why does she get mad when you stay out of home, because you don’t feel welcome at home?

You can’t stay at home, watch her movies, eat her food and all and be happy. Her choices are mostly off. Unless when she wants to impress you, you are rarely happy about how she treats you at home. Yet it is the simple things that matter. But she will hear none of it. The more you live together, the more you understand why married men like local bars so much.

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