1. I’m the stud, the Real McCoy, my foot!
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Boasting of sexual prowess when results show otherwise was one of the top things that tops in setting up your partner up for disappointment.
2. Hey, service me
Not unless you are Brad Pitt, whom we also believe puts extra effort in bed, laying back with your hands behind your head and expecting a woman to service you while you do nothing to her is pathetic.
3. Your (nappier) grass is too tall!
Women hate it when guys smell or have poor hygiene, so before you even think about hopping into the bed, you should make sure you’ve showered and don’t smell like you are a manager at some piggery in Ruai.
Though some woman may like the body odor, but too much is bad; bad breath especially that of onions and garlic is the biggest turn off. If water and soap do not work, maybe it’s time to visit a doctor.
4. If you like it, say it
Zero communication and complete silence feels very disconnected, detached and just plain weird. Women need constant reassurance that whatever they are doing to you is working.
5. I’m Wairimu, not Mwende
That definitely lowers your credibility and her passion for you. Not even an apology, massage and romantic dinner can save you from this one because she will never move on.
6. I will pluck out your weave
Being too aggressive is twice as bad as insecurity. When you try to push a woman around, you’ll display disgusting behavior. Women also hate men who mishandle them down there. Do not bite her and neither should you use your sharp finger nails to explore the sensitive territory. It does not work.
7. Samson, go slow on Delilah
A half-hearted attempt at foreplay is not just boring, but downright insulting. Women need foreplay and romance to get aroused. The buildup and foreplay is just as important as the ‘main act.’
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8. Kiss me please
The first kiss is the most important thing when starting a relationship. It tells tales about your sexual compatibility and believe it or not, it also says a lot about you as a person.
While kissing is important, one must not confuse a woman’s face with the Mwea Irrigation Scheme. There is a very big difference between kissing and licking a woman’s face like a dog.
10. Damn! I was almost there
When a woman tells you she likes what you’re doing and not to stop, listen to her. There is no excuse for not paying attention.
Peris Cheptoo was traumatised by the man who deflowered her because he was a poor listener.
“I thought it was common sense that when a woman cries out ‘ouch,’ it means she is hurting. He really hurt me during our first time,” Peris said adding that it did not stop there.
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