Bad boy: Now she wants a wedding

Any man would admit that dowry payment is a most exhaustive process in the 'procurement' of a wife. Especially if you have to deal with the greedy folks of your prospective wife. Which you did. And you hated them.

Also, many men would admit that weddings are expensive pageants. And few men, if any, like to be paraded, in a day long well-choreographed activity, just but to formalise a marriage. In your case you have been living with her for more than six months. So in your opinion, a wedding will be a waste of money and time.

But Carol says she needs a proper wedding. You had suggested a simple affair at the Attorney General, followed by lunch at a five star with some of your closest mutual friends, but she retorted,

"I am not that cheap, I want a wedding," she said with all the entitlement she can muster.

Of course you are infuriated. Sometimes you wish women were understanding. But find a woman who is understanding when it comes to wedding is like finding a politician who reasons.

"See, we have been living together for quite some time. Technically we are married, why waste another million if not more on a meaningless wedding?" you ask, pleading?

"It is a woman thing. What will my friends think of me?" she sniggers, "we can afford," she adds.

What she does not mention is that you have coughed a lot of money towards her bride price. She also wants you to chip in the wedding.

Often, any rational being can strip the wedding down to the basics, but women will insist in the most expensive way of doing a wedding. She will pick the priciest wedding dress, and go for the most expensive outside caterers in town, that is besides the useless décor and hiring of a venue. But what should you do as a man, but be a willing participant and cough up the money needed from you.

You play down her demands, and then you walk in on her and a few of her friends, some you rarely knew existed and they are drawing up the wedding budget. You are made to sit and hear their expensive suggestions and as you seethe in untold rage, they carry on adding one useless thing after another. You note that Carol does have some quite beautiful friends. Did you rush?

When you look at the final list, it is laughably sad, expensive but what are you to do? Sensing that you are about to faint, she suggests that she will take care of 50 per cent of the money needed.

"And where will the other 50 per cent come from?" you ask.

"Of course, babes, you can get that. Or we can form a committee and have a brief fundraising," she says with an annoying innocence. Little does she know that you swore never to contribute to someone's wedding. And none of your friends will fund your expensive luxury.

So, you will foot the bill and that means another year of brokenness. Who would have told you that your savings of the last three years will go into paying dowry and a wedding that you don't feel like.

Anyway, you hope to get done with it. With a date set, and invitations sent, you are ready to quit bachelor's club. You sense that what you are doing is wrong, but like all married men, you can't stop it.

@nyanchwani

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