No more cooking and cleaning, you’re his girlfriend, not a wife!

There are many things that puzzle me; first on my list is why and how George Clooney always tops those sexiest-man-alive lists every year (I really don’t know why folks think he’s sexy). I also don’t understand why some Kenyans live as if they have a money tree growing in their backyard and yet I live from hand to mouth.

Another is why these days, to make it to prime time news as a female anchor you have to have well defined hips and spot long fake wavy hair. Then there is the issue of men walking around in floral prints or skinny jeans. Quite frankly, that’s mind boggling!

Wife of the year

And while all the above are a constant wonder, the thing that not only puzzles but irks me to bits as a feminist is when I see a modern independent woman who holds the title of ‘girlfriend’, or worse still a lady who has not been bequeathed with any title by the man she is supposedly dating, cooking and cleaning for him as if she were competing for the ‘wife of the year’ title.

Firstly, you are not a wife, and second because you are not a wife you have no business doing wifely things like cooking and cleaning for a man who is not your husband. Third, what is more fun than being a girlfriend,  I mean you are wooed, showered with gifts and treated like a queen.

And before you call me a prude, or overly traditional, I am none of the above. In fact I like to think of myself as a realist.

So before you get your panties in a twist, there is nothing wrong with visiting your man and having him cook and take care of you, and then maybe once in a while making a meal worthy of kings just to let him know that in case he is searching you have the skills.

You have to be strategic and not go around giving everything out for free!

Recently a boyfriend asked me to leave the comfort of my bachelorette pad where I do not have to look after anyone but myself, and move in with him in order to give him free sex, wash his socks and cook chapos and ugali for his leisure and pleasure. So basically he was asking for a wife for the price of a girlfriend.

Everyone’s doing it

I asked him to declare his intentions and all he could come up with was, “Everyone is doing it, all my friends live with their girlfriends, plus it is a great way to see if we can live together.”

Note, however, that there was no promise, and no commitment but I was expected to blindly leave the comfort of my single life and go pretend to be a wife (which I have come to discover is a lot of work) for nothing, not even a promise!

The man probably thought I was a fool, why again would I give my milk away for free? If you want to play house, show me a ring, pay dowry and give me a wedding, if not let’s just have fun and be girlfriend and boyfriend.

Buy the cow, don’t come here and try to drink for free!