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When your man expects you to perform like a porn star.

Between The Sheets By Anne Muiruri
Photo; Courtesy
Photo:Courtesy

It is quite disheartening to see women been branded as puritanical prudes by their significant others. This simply because they are reluctant to partake in kinky acts that these men are used to seeing in blue movies.

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They are made to feel sexually inept when they get second thoughts about performing some form of ‘Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM)’ that their boyfriends want them to act out.

Every man asserts that he wants a freak in between the sheets and will make a woman feel bad if he feels that her performances in bed is not up to par.

This tremendous pressure being put on women to perform in bed in totally uncalled for. Gentlemen, we are not porn stars for crying out loud!

The ubiquity of pornography in our culture has given rise to a new breed of porn obsessed men who earnestly believe that the sex portrayed in porn is real.

 Porn is nothing but contemptible filth that turns decent men into depraved, dirty souls. It has corrupted their perception of sex.

These men have deluded themselves into believing that the fiction of pornography is somehow typical of conventional human sexuality.

Porn has given rise to unrealistic expectations in the minds of men about sex and love.

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 Bearing in mind the fact that much of what is depicted in these adult movies is overly aggressive and misogynistic; women have to bear the brunt of this vice.

It is quite unfortunate that the gentleness and tenderness and the whole thoughtfulness of making love has died out in many modern relationships and has been replaced with tied-up-and-blindfolded kinky sex.

Meaningful relationships

And any woman who doesn’t find it appealing is instantly labeled ‘sexually unadventurous’.

A lot of the young men today have more experience with porn that with real sex and hence don’t know how to deal with a living, breathing imperfect woman.

 They find normal and everyday sex as boring because it is not X rated enough for them.

They find it very difficult to start and maintain meaningful relationships because the women they interact with don’t have double D breasts and they are not always waxed, tweezed, threaded and lasered to within an inch of their lives.

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 Look, it is no mean feat trying to measure up to porn stars. In blue movies, sex is all about dominance and women are just objects to control.

They have perfect airbrushed bodies and are always eager to please in whatever perverted way is required of them.

The men in the videos don’t have to worry about pleasing the women. They don’t have to talk to them or listen to them talk.

Concept of intimacy

These are all very impractical expectations when it comes to real-life sex with a real-life woman who has real-life emotions.

 The adult film industry set a precedent that there is nothing wrong with regarding women as second-rate human beings to be used for man’s pleasure.

Pornography obsessed men will force a woman into performing kinky acts that she is not comfortable with.

The men in pornographic videos don’t see the need to establish an emotional and intellectual connection with a woman.

 They are nothing but objects whose sole purpose is to gratify a man’s sexual urge. They don’t understand the concept of intimacy.

Men’s obsession with pornography has led to the blurring of the line between reality and fantasy. You need to stop expecting women to perform like renowned porn star Linda Lovelace.

You are way out of line if you expect your woman to contort into impossible yoga poses, just so you can act out an exotic scene you saw in a porno movie.

I am not saying we should put porn down entirely. It can be great for spicing up your sex life with fresh moves and ideas, but there needs to be consent, respect and an open dialogue about boundaries.

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