Dear Coleen: I keep catching my fiance eyeing up other women in the street - Evewoman
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Dear Coleen: I keep catching my fiance eyeing up other women in the street

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Dear Coleen

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly four years and we are planning to get married soon. At the start of our relationship, I never worried about him cheating or looking at other women.

In fact, I’ve never been paranoid about this stuff in any of my previous relationships and I’ve always been a very confident, bubbly person.

However, I’ve noticed that when my boyfriend is driving his eyes tend to fall on other women – a lot. He says I’m paranoid and that it’s all in my head, but I’m not blind. There have been lots of situations where I’ve felt he’s looked at women on purpose.

I’m very loyal and even look the other way if I see a guy staring at me, but my boyfriend doesn’t do the same and it’s turned me into a jealous wreck, although I don’t show him this.

It’s driving me nuts because I want to know I’m marrying the right guy. I’ve even thought of hiring a private investigator just to be sure. What shall I do?

Coleen says

So what you’re saying is, when you’re in a relationship with someone you should never look at another person? All your visual senses are just supposed to disappear overnight, right?

If that’s the case, I’ve ‘cheated’ on every bloke I’ve ever been out with. I’m the first one to say, “Oh, he’s gorgeous”, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love my husband or would ever act on it.

And if my husband told me he never found other women attractive, I would know he is lying and that would make me worry! I think of it as looking at a fabulous painting – you don’t have to buy it, but you can appreciate it.

I promise you this, if your boyfriend gets wind of the fact you’ve hired a P.I. to spy on him, the wedding will definitely be off.

I think you’re looking for every sign now that he fancies other women. Maybe it’s wedding nerves and the thought that you’re going to spend your life with this person. That’s made you paranoid and unsure.

Be confident and remember that girl you used to be – the one he fell in love with. And trust him until he gives you an actual reason not to.

The bottom line is, if he’s going to leave you for someone else, he’s going to do it.

 

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