How to compromise wisely in your relationship

One of the habits that I intend to do away with this New Year is to be more keen with my loose change. I have this habit of not asking for my change if it is below Sh10. I also find it hard to ask somebody for something of mine that they had borrowed. This habit has cost me alot. It is all about compromising too much.

Surrender

Compromise, in its negative connotation, means ‘surrender’. Most women are guilty of this in relationships. A woman is entitled to a man’s respect, faithfulness, trust, among other things, yet there are some who are not bold enough to demand for it. To avoid being termed too demanding, such a woman rarely demands for what is rightfully hers in a relationship. This is the kind of woman who takes in alot of nonsense from a man.

When relating to colleagues too, she rolls the same dice. To avoid sounding aggressive, she tones down her work efforts to be in the same level as the rest in the building.

To avoid being termed bossy, she refrains from assigning duties. This same woman would gladly reject a money-spinning job invitation since she cannot work till late hours. Her reason? It won’t be fair to her man.

She can even go ahead and quit her job to take care of the home and her man. These choices, she makes without letting him know. When she feels her efforts are not seen or acknowledged, discontentment creeps. This is when she starts to realise she has given too much while he does not do the same.

Meet Halfway

Wikipedia describes ‘to compromise’ as making of a deal between different parties where each party gives up part of their demand. It further states that compromise is successful through communication and an acceptance of common conditions such as aspirations or desires. Compromise helps in reaching a resolve, counter similar arguments in future and make both partners realise both their views are as important.

It also serves as a reminder that a couple has to meet halfway for a relationship to work. To make a relationship work, a woman should question what she is able and not able to compromise. She must know how far she is willing to go, and whether the agreement is two-way. She should also accept that it is all right to be displeased with the sacrifice she is about to make. She still has the right not to compromise when doing so undermines her identity.

Many women fail in the area of compromise because they do it before studying what kind of man they have.

If you are with a man who cannot compromise for you then you will be in a one-person compromise arrangement that is unhealthy for you. This New Year, compromise wisely. Happy 2014.