Open letter to Lillian Muli

Dear Lillian Muli,

When we leave our homes each day to go and earn a living, we always make sure that we look our best. We risk our ankles by balancing on high heels and swing our hips by force. We carry expensive handbags and make sure our jewellery is intact!

Those wigs/weaves that some of us have on, Lilian, they are uncomfortable, but do we have a choice? We don’t! We have to endure the suffering, our Golgotha.

Once we get home in the evening, we leave our bags at ‘mama mboga’ because they are too heavy for us and ask our children to go for them once we are in the house.

We remove our shoes at the stairs because that’s where the suffering ends, our Calvary. We live on the 11th floor remember? And our stairs are too steep! By the time we are on sixth floor, we meet our children running down stairs to mama mboga to bring us our handbags, they meet us with a glass of water to give us the strength to get to 11th floor.

Once in our houses, our heads spin around, probably from the long day we have had in our high heels and sexy attires.

 We remove that figure belt we had all day, to press our stomachs inside, at the door, and finally start breathing normally. We drop our wigs on the coffee table as we ask our lastborns to massage our feet, then to the bathroom and put on a T-shirt and a lesso. We then drop (remember I did not say ‘sit’, I said ‘drop’) on our seats in time to catch the nine o’clock bulletin.

Just before it begins, our husbands walk in, tired and ready to give us all the attention. We miss them all day remember? We only see them at night.

They leave us every Saturday to go have fun with fellow men then sleep all Sunday because they were up all night on Saturday. When they finally wake up Sunday evening, they already have the Monday blues and are so edgy.

Lillian baby, we only get to see them in their good moods during weekdays. It was all going well until your dresser improved his services. Lillian, whoever is dressing you is making us suffer. Do you want us to maintain the heels, figure belts and wigs even in our own homes so that you don’t catch our husbands’ attention?

Lillian, you will be the end of us! Instead of night dresses, we are now serving dinner in heels and making sure our lip balm is intact to match up to the game! Calvary jumped out the window in our homes and Golgotha sneaked in through all the openings!

When are we going to be free?

Lillian, I hear there is a new radio station coming up. I swear you sound so nice on radio, please apply for it. I will personally canvass for you!

Yours truly,

Beryl Itindi.

Photo: sasatrends.com