My step-father defiled me when i was young

I am 19 years old and I live every day in pain because of my stepdad. My father died when I was 14 and my mum got married to this man who has been my stepdad for four years. When we moved into his house, he started touching me when mum was not around, and he also defiled me for about six months when I was 16. He stopped for about two years but from what he has been telling me, I think he wants to start that again. I am confused and don’t know what to do now.  

{Makena}

YOUR TAKE

The society’s moral fabric has completely deteriorated. I am so sorry for this, but you must take action now. You cannot continue suffering. If he insists, report him to a trusted family member.

{Dr John Keng’abi-Keumbu, Kisii}

That is someone who should be behind bars. Your mother must know the kind of person she is married to. If your mother doesn’t take you seriously, go to the nearest children’s office and file the case.

{Tasma Charles}

It’s sad that you have been suffering in silence. Tackle the matter wisely. Report to your mother or an elder.

{John Mogeni, Dadaab}

You did not narrate the circumstances surrounding your being defiled by your stepdad but whatever the case, it is unacceptable. 

{Anthony Haribiwe}

Sorry for what has been happening to you. I wish you didn’t keep quiet for that long. It is, however, not too late to salvage the situation. Report him and remember, including your mother, will support you.

{Ouma Ragumo-Sifuyo}

It might not be a good idea to report him to your mother because she might cover it up to protect him. Confide in a trusted aunt or a close relative who will take action. 

{Muchiri Chege}

It is clear that at the time your stepfather started defiling you, you were of a reasonable age and you knew what he was doing was wrong. You ought to have told your mother about this. Now that you are not a minor anymore, you have no excuse for not reporting him.

 {Nicholas Nyangau}

It is so sad that you have tolerated defilement for this long. The law is clear that such actions should severely be punished. Do not fear.

{Cornel Oyaya}

It is time you stopped your stepfather. It is a taboo to sleep with your daughter — whether step of biological.  If he doesn’t stop, threaten to shame him in front of family and friends.

{Onyango Outha Jauduny}

It is unfortunate that the man took advantage of you when you were underage. Now that you over 18, you ought to take responsibility. Telling your mother might lead to a divorce.

  {Thaddeus Ong’era}

You should tell your mum about this before it happens again.

{Juma Victor, Taita Taveta University}

COUNSELLOR’S TAKE

What happened to you was very unfortunate and the fact that you have kept quite about it all these years makes it even worse. Be assured that he is fully responsible for what he did to you, but you should also take responsibility for not talking about early enough. You put your mother’s interests before yours, but what this only added to the false foundation for her marriage. He is not the man she thinks he is and she needs to know that one way or the other.

However, you can only take so much and should he put one more finger on you, go ahead and tell her everything. The longer you keep this, the more difficult it will get. She deserves to know the truth about this man and it will be helpful if she gets to know this early.

Remember it is not your fault and you can always come clean about the issue.

{Taurus}