Why you should not overschedule your child

 A boy kicks a football during a game with his family. [iStockphoto]

The long school holidays are here and once again, parents are freaking out at the thought of keeping their children occupied for two months. 

In clips doing rounds on social media, many are not sure how the children will utilise the long period out of school. And with the high cost of living, many parents may also not have the resources needed to take them on extended holidays.

With such a vacuum, shrewd businessmen and women usually move in with a retinue of holiday activities that parents are happy to jump into if only to get the children out of the house.

Bootcamps, music lessons, language courses, and cultural engagements have become rife as soon as school gates close.

At times, children will continue with loads of homework for weeks into their ‘holiday’. Simply put, a child’s life is full of activities both in and out of school mainly out of parents’ fears that the young, idle minds and bodies may easily lead to mischief. 

Charity Katago, a mother of three in Murang’a says parents have no choice but to seek out such activities for their children, a departure from past decades when children would be left to their own devices.

“Leaving them without any schedules means they will turn to the screens,” says Katago.

During this holiday, she plans to spend time with her children visiting local places of interest such as Nairobi National Park, and Kenya National Museum, and golfing activities.

“Gone are the days when children would just run around the estates. We have seen shrinking public spaces that have been replaced with electronic gadgets. In our days, we would create our games that included swimming in local rivers,” she says.

There was little formal entertainment either as the only television channel available was the national broadcaster, Voice of Kenya, now KBC which would open at 4pm and close by 11pm., way past the children’s bedtime. Movie or music streaming services were not even a distant rumour.

Devoid of such electronic distraction, parents looked forward to school closure as there would be more hands to do the work at home. Not anymore, according to Katago.

“How many plates or cups can three children wash anyway? Today, household chores are becoming more mechanised in many homes rendering manual services irrelevant. Many people in urban areas have employed house helps, people use vacuum cleaners rather than sweep houses, they have washing machines and dishwashers,” she says.

Ayub Mugo is a father of three children, all in different stages of education. Whenever he can, he uses every opportunity to engage his children in what he terms ‘body, mind and soul’ activities. Boredom during the holidays, he says, is a rare phrase in his household. 

“Just get physical,” he says. “When they are in school, they acquire software, but it is my duty as a parent to install the hardware. We engage in all things physical such as joining soccer clubs, hiking, and athletics.”

Do the children derive any benefits from these activities or do these rob them of their free time?

“You see, by the time they get out of the physical activities, they are too tired for any mischief. When they are alone at home, there is always the risk of getting into trouble within the neighbourhood. Our urban neighbourhoods are no longer what they used to be. And to make it more exciting, a break to the upcountry farm is always welcome,” says Mugo.

Experts in child behaviour say while keeping children engaged during long periods of school holiday is advisable, there is also the danger of overscheduling their lives. This, they say, could leave children with little downtime, the very essence of the school break.

“Involving your (child) in multiple extracurricular activities is done with the best intentions,” states research by Playworld.com. “But sometimes, you could be putting too much on their plate. Constant practices, games, competitions, studying, homework and family obligations pack a schedule and leave no room for downtime.”

The organisation says rushing the child from one activity to the next or setting reminders to go to practices and meetings may achieve results that are very opposite to the parents’ intentions. This, it adds, could also have detrimental effects on their health and academic progress.

“Whether they are missing out on sleep by trying to get everything done or losing sleep due to stress, it could be a sign of a stressful schedule. Children who do too much outside of school may not have time to dedicate to their studies. They may be too stressed due to a lack of downtime to concentrate in class or on their studies,” the research says.

Madeleine Mbaire, a child and adolescent psychologist who is also a school counsellor says with good planning, children can get to enjoy such downtime while engaging in calculated activities.

Many times, she says, a child will walk up to the parent and say he is bored “and that is where creativity comes from”. “Boredom is the mother of creativity, a chance for the child to come up with a solution. Sadly, the modern world has many conveniences that kill creativity,” she says.

In fighting boredom, she says parents can encourage their children to create business ideas and reward them, even monetarily, for winning ‘pitches’. This, she adds, teaches them to be responsible while instilling in them vital life skills.

However, the current urban lifestyle where people live in flats is a drawback to the children’s explorative nature. In addition, insecurity forces parents to confine children indoors in contrast to the olden days “when it took a village to raise the child”.

“Back then children were creative and could come up with games and ‘inventions’ of their own. Today they are a bit docile with parents filling up their time with schedules to avoid home mischief,” she says.

She says parents need to create safe, controlled and balanced avenues rather than locking them in the house or getting to the other extreme of overscheduling during holidays.

“Children ranging between 6-10 years of age are more competitive and if locked at home, they may lack social interaction and mental health and wellbeing. Pre-teens and teenagers want to develop an identity outside of the family. That is why they shut out adults and identify more with their agemates. Parents in the neighbourhood can come together during holidays and help their children interact in a safe environment,” says Mbaire.

Again, she calls for a balance between creating a workable schedule and allowing some downtime for the children. For example, she says a child who is outdoors scores better in mental health than one who is addicted to the screen and who then struggles with focus and attention.

Conversely, Mbaire says parents should not create hectic schedules for their children during the school holidays just to avoid spending time with them.

“Some parents take their children to boot camps not because they need to but so that they are babysat by others. Some of these parents do not even want to know what the boot camp was all about as long as the child is out of sight,” says Mbaire.

So whether in the city or out in the village, any activities planned during the long school break should be balanced and refreshing, not overwhelm a child.