When marriage is too big for resolutions

One of my sisters’ (now in early and mid thirties) 2014 resolutions was to walk down the aisle but many wayward obstacles played significantly against this heartfelt desire.

They would probably give a penny for my humble thought and who knows, this year would go down their diary with a thud. Perhaps marriage is a point out of the bush, they are still single, a title that accompanies one’s modesty to carry relative pride at given circumstances... and not in others.

But then, with 2015 almost untouched,it wouldn’t harm to stretch last year’s deadlines a little and let important resolutions spill into the new year. Surely, no one has ever been hanged for this and anything, but resolutions must be realised deadlines nothwistanding.

The other option is adding marriage to your new set of resolutions for this year, but I have a better idea still; to forget it altogether! Think about last year, how many accomplishments did you make without having resolved for them at the onset of the year? So many. But then, how many out of the list you burnt the midnight oil to make did you achieve? Probably none!

There is no doubt many young women in the bracket I limited myself to above came out of holidays with hearts weighed down by direct and indirect demands from parents who want grandchildren. Those signals did not escape your scrutiny. Or at occassions your heart skips a beat when all girls in your company are that step ahead of you. I also heard there comes a time when all your married friends believe beyond doubt that you are a potential husband snatcher because you don’t have your own and as time adds onto your age, you become a bad influence to other people’s wives , in this case, a bad example to your own friends!

Many other awful things pull back a single lady’s push into life’s successes so she starts crowning marriage institution saviour. In the heat of societal and interpersonal pressure, a potentially successful lady jumps on the marriage bandwagon, sometimes descending on the wrong partner.

A word to principled single ladies; nothing should make you trade your values so cheaply in a relationship. Nothing! Worry less about marriage. Let it come so naturally and only then, will you proudly cross the bridge. Until then, keep any commitments that can’t hold water at bay. I mean those people you can bet your last penny are hiding their true self with malice against you should be avoided like a bad rug.

Ever felt that the arms extended to you are not stretched from the owner’s heart and, yes, neither from their sane mind? By all means, don’t dive into them head on. Get lured into them and at the drop of the cap we hear so and so got hitched only for us to learn next thing you are ditched. We can’t help but only pity the once pursued as she turns into the pursuerer.

Some things only come once in a lifetime and so it calls for one to enjoy each moment of their life as the pursued. Complicate yourself the more as this is the only way to separate grain from chaff. Remember that unworthy fellows have no second thought to surrendering the ripe fruit high into the tree on claim that it isn’t within their reach. But somehow, there comes one who must have the juicy fruit whatever the cost.

It brings intrinsic happiness to examine them independently as they chase after you before, tired but satisfied, you accede to your ideal better half. It shouldn’t be a matter of waxing yourself to someone because they accented to your unworthy demands. One is worth more than the biggest mansion, cars and other most coveted things.

Then there is that must thing. Stick to your principles so much that you will bare your nude mind to the suitor that comes your way so they know what you are made of with no fear they will walk away.

They will go, at a certain point if they were to. Destiny pushes through the hardest of surfaces.