How to deal with sexual harassment in the office

What is the difference between an office romance and sexual harassment?

By the way, do men also suffer sexual harassment at work?

The first time that Frao asked that question I wasn’t sure I heard him right. So I sprung from my seat.

“Huh?” I said. “I asked you if men suffer sexual harassment in their offices.” He repeated. That got me thinking of the tens of sexual harassment cases I have heard (and indeed, none involved men as victim). It is always a one-way-traffic kind of thing.

It happens to women so often that they have even developed a catalogue of how to deal with the situation. I once heard Flo bragging about how she had cowed some randy man at their office.

“If you do it politely, it confuses him because he will think you enjoy it. You know that rubbish men say about women meaning ‘yes’ when they say ‘no’?

“But if you deliver your reprimand in a firm and dead-pan tone, he will get it and behave. This works particularly well with your peers in the office, not necessarily your bosses,” Flo said.

Not to be outdone, her pal, the indefatigable Stacy, suggested that you put men in their place well before anything sexual is ever said.

“I have tried it and it works wonders. So try statements like, ‘you remind me of my uncle’ or ‘I wish I had a big brother like you’. If you can say this in super respectful mother tongue, even better,” said Stacy.

Ignore sexual comments

It was also argued in the same session that one of the ways of coping with sexual harassment in the office is to ignore sexual comments or let them hang unattended in the air.

Whatever the comment is, however embarrassing or rude or crass, just let it hang. It is not yours so you are not responsible for it.

Do not laugh, smile, cringe or even look away. It will hang, it will fester and like a loud fart, it will embarrass the person who made it, hopefully into silence.

But perhaps the most ludicrous and controversial approach to be suggested by Flo was the one you find among college people. If a man approaches you off side, scream and shout as they do in football.

She further argued that not everyone who makes sexual advances or overtures is your boss or a friend or even someone you like.

“Sometimes it is just the office jerk. Use him to make the point that you can lose all your good manners and sophistication. Scream at him, shout at him, embarrass him... others will see this side of you and tread carefully,”added Flo.

Office romances

But it is not all doom and gloom. There are tens of functional office romances that have worked.

The trick is for the men to stick to their lane. But if you are the kind that wants to bed every intern in sight you will surely be taught a lesson.

Dear brothers, you cannot say you were not warned. These sisters are ready for combat and it calls for finesse in office romance.

After all the line between office romance and sexual harassment is so thin that when you finally find yourself in a tight corner accused of harassment you will try to explain that it was romance to no avail.

Tread carefully!

Photo: www.dailymail.co.uk