This is eating me up but how do I tell my wife?

I am married with two children. In August 2013, I got involved with a lady who revealed that she was HIV positive even before we got intimate. We went for a test that confirmed that she was indeed positive and I was negative.

Despite the results, I have maintained the relationship up until now including having sex but with protection. Unfortunately, I got exposed by accident a few days ago and sought medical advice where I was encouraged to start PEP treatment to avoid getting infected.

I am away on official matters and will be back home in a few days. The doctor advised that I either abstain or use a condom every time I have sexual intercourse to avoid infecting my wife.

I don’t know how to even suggest this to her since I know she is eagerly waiting for me and we have never had protected sex. Please advise me. I really care about her and don’t want to infect her with the virus. {Maiwell }

My friend who is a nurse also got exposed to HIV by accidentally piercing herself with a needle from a HIV positive patient. She was put on treatment for about a month and now she is it still HIV negative. However, the medicine made her sick because of numerous side effects but she is alright now. Take heart, all will be well. {Caroline Mbugua}

Maxwell you got exposed but this is not the end of the world. You can try and salvage things by telling your wife about this so she can at least live longer and take care of your family. In everything you do, follow the doctor’s advice and pray so that God may lead you well every step of your life. {Joshua Obino}

Maxwell, life must go on and it is, therefore, upon you to either go on with the drug and save your family, or expose your family to the virus. Exposure to HIV is not only through sex but could also be through accidental contact with contaminated blood. There are several ways of coining this exposure so long as you don’t mention the issue of sexual exposure as this may bring total disharmony and unnecessary quarrels, which might never end soon. It is also a lesson for you not to be careless again in future. Whenever you are around your girlfriend, always have a condom. I wish you a happy marriage and live life thereafter. {Ouma Ragumo – Sifuyo}

It is possible to have unprotected sex without necessarily infecting your partner but it is a risky gamble. If you love her and care for your family, be honest with her. You can prepare her for the bad news before you reach home and when you tell her, give her time to come to terms with it and you will both move on. {Tasma Charles}