OPINION: Marrying a monied woman? Prepare for the humble pie

Men have married up. I mean marrying a woman from a wealthier family or who has made more money than you. Women marrying upwards is the norm and doesn’t upset the matrimonial cart. There is a difference between the first floor and the mezzanine floor. If you happen to marry a woman a few inches upwards, then that doesn’t count. The problem is that these are the most troublesome in most marriages.

All marriages, like flights, are bound to hit turbulence. It comes with the territory where two different people work out a balance around power and control, money and emotional connection. If a couple from the same economic bracket are bound to have conflicts, then when a man marries upwards, more balancing act is required.

The moment a woman is endowed with resources, the pool of men who will be attracted to her may be high, but very few will have the courage to hit on her. This will reduce further if she desires to settle in marriage. For this reason, a few courageous ones bite the bullet and marry downwards even when the word in their woke space is “do not settle”. They settle downwards.

The best ladies in this group are those who come from wealthy families and were raised well. This type of money is quiet but powerful. These can marry downwards and live happily with their husbands and raise a good family. If the husband is responsible and more productive than the sons of the home, he can be co-opted. This is also made easier if the lady is the apple of her father’s eye. Though this will come with some backlash from his brothers-in-law.

Then comes the ladies who, by their sheer luck or hard work make money while young. They are the majority and here we have two types. The first group happens to rise through the ranks at work and earn good perks despite coming from average families, economically speaking. They worked hard in school, got good grades, went to campus and landed good jobs. The business-minded ladies also fall here. Those who decided to make their money. If marriage finds them along the way, well and good.

These ladies are good to marry if you can approach the marriage on an equal platform. The husband must also bring home some bacon, even if it is less than what the madam brings. In a dual respect and supportive environment, these ladies thrive and give their best. A man can go for these ladies as long as their character is astute and there is compatibility. What the man should always remember is that they can always walk away and still be able to support their lifestyle.

The last group is the high-risk ladies. These are the ladies who made their money from leveraging on their beauty. The few high-profile men out to have fun funded their lifestyle and set them up with jobs or businesses. They slept with the bosses or found rich men out there to pad up their value. They know how to slice through the average men like a hot knife on butter for the men who will change their lives.

Some of them even dropped their husbands when they realised they could not have the best of both worlds. Their husbands will not cooperate even if they butter the half a loaf he brings home. These ones have standards that they grafted into their lives by force of fire. They live by the YOLO motto: you only live once.

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Do not attempt to settle down with this type of lady if their sponsor was a politician or a powerful power broker. You will cry premium tears. These are the ladies who have seen as many five-star hotel room ceilings as there are such hotels in town. They have tasted the proceeds of the bottomless pit of proceeds from government corruption. You will never match up to patched-up standards. You will always be gasping for air trying to catch up with her pace and lifestyle.

These are the type of women who will drop their man amidst the proverbial noise and mess. The toothpick rants, lazy and good for nothing as well as all the favours she procured for you, will be aired for the world to know. Everyone will be reminded that you were just a necessary accessory for a season who, several times, even begged not to be dropped.

Men are wired as providers; it is a divine calling. The modern world has thrust women into the realm of provision with consequences. As a man, if you have to marry up, you must be double sure.