Watchman nabs his wife night-running

[Photo: File]

A night watchman got the shock of his life after a night runner he caught, wrestled to the ground and unmasked, after a spirited chase turned out to be none other than his ‘loving’ wife.

Following a curfew ordered by the Inspector General of Police, I had to close my cafe early. “I remember it as if it happened just yesterday, the day they declared a state of emergency in the year 1982. Terrible monstrosities that I cannot describe,” Ustadh Ashraf declared, as I wound up in readiness to close shop.

And since most people were of the opinion that it is better to be safe than sorry, I decided to close the coffee shop early to attend a security meeting that was aimed at ensuring our area was safe.

At the meeting, it was decided that every able-bodied man would have to serve as a vigilante in collaboration with a couple of night watchmen for a number of days on a rotational basis.

crude weapons

And as luck would have it, I was amongst the first selected to patrol the streets in the neck of my woods at the witching hour to keep the neigbourhood safe.

“But in the event you stumble upon a black cat, just say Salaam Aleikum. Please don’t try to hit it as it might be a djinn (ghost) looking for a soul to steal,” one neighbour warned.

Someone else suggested the group should first undergo a consecration process to preserve them from all the evil spirits roaming at midnight.

And they went on and on until the sungusungu (vigilantes) were too scared to venture outside.

“Stop it please, before you scare these people to death. They are going to catch thieves and not battle evil spirits,” the scaremongers were informed.

The whole group assembled at the square at around ten and I can tell you, we were armed to the teeth. All manner of crude weapons were on display when the scraggly gang gathered at the square.

One guy had a rusty sword which he claimed his grandfather had got from Zorro himself while another was carrying a scythe like the grim reaper himself.“For effective security, we need to split up in groups of two and man different areas of this town,” one self-proclaimed security expert suggested.

As luck would have it, I was paired up with none other than Zorro, a watchman, who was prancing up and down the streets like a Samurai warrior with his sword. It was amazing that this guy was not like the other yellow-bellied cowards who were already missing their mums after all the talk about ghosts.

spirited fight

No sooner had we started patrolling our beat than a figure dashed across the road at the speed of light. Zorro, who was high on whatever it is that he takes, was hot on the heels of the robed silhouette as he shrieked like a real Moran during a cattle raid.

I chased the duo and caught up with them at the end of the road. Zorro was all over the robed figure and was wrestling with it on the street. “I must unmask you and expose your identity, you mwanga (night runner).

The robed figure gave a spirited fight but was no match for Zorro. The mask was finally pulled away to reveal none other than Zorro’s wife.

What could we do but escort her back to her house. “This should be between me and you, please, please don’t tell anyone for this is an embarrassment...,” pleaded Zorro.