Maddening cash requests

Because we pay school fees for her children, I don’t expect mother-in-law to keep asking for pocket money from us, writes Tatiana Saina

“I have sent mum some Sh2,000. She was broke.” I’m tired of hearing this line from my husband. Who isn’t broke? Well, even if some us have some money, it is often tied up. A few people have extra money lying idle and waiting to be given to a needy person. So, when I get messages or calls from my sisters in-law asking me to send ‘mother’ some money because she is broke, I get pissed off.

Root problem

The requests to send some ‘pocket’ money to mother-in-law have become so frequent that I recently took time to figure out what could be triggering them. After a little thinking, I came to the conclusion that they have something to do with my house help, who happens to be a distant cousin to my husband. In fact, her grandmother is related to my mother-in-law. That was the source of all the trouble. I could not also rule out my sister-in-law, a student who visits our house on holidays.

I have learnt that our perceived high-end lifestyle does not auger well with my husband’s relatives.

They don’t understand why my husband and I should have two cars. They think it is a waste of money that could have been channelled to their mother, who has since retired from a teaching job. Never mind that she still gets some little pension and has small vegetable and grain businesses. What is also annoying about her requiring money from us is the fact that we continue to pay school fees and provide other necessities for her children.

My husband recently bought an expensive home theatre and I remember my house help commenting: “Hii kitu lazima ni expensive sana (This thing must be very expensive).” To which I agreed and added: “Wacha mtu aenjoy jasho yake (Let him enjoy the fruits of his hard work.”

Looking back, she must have mentioned it to my mother-in-law and my sisters-in-law and probably even exaggerated it, explaining the envy and the thought that we must have a lot of money to spare.

To make matters worse, I recently scrolled my husband’s phone and found an M-pesa message showing he had sent Sh3,000 to his mother. Looking at the date, I realised it was barely two weeks after we sent her Sh2,000. But what annoyed me more is the fact that he did not tell me.

End of requests

I could not take it anymore and I had to summon him to explain what was happening. He did have not sufficient reasons to explain his mother’s behaviour and when I shared my suspicions, he could not help, but agree. He promised to talk to his mother and explain that we are already sacrificing a lot to support his siblings, and she shouldn’t expect us to give her money.

It’s been three weeks and I have not received another request.