A roommate
is like a first desk mate one has in a new school. They are the first people
you see their teeth, and they easily become your first friends on campus by
default. While there are good roommates, there are types of roommates who could
be a nightmare. Below are five types;
1. The
Village Hero Heroines – These are roommates who bring an entire village to your
room. They converse in vernacular while laughing hysterically to the pity of
their lungs. Mostly, they appear like they are gossiping about you, but they
are not. You only get to know that when one of them stands to demonstrate how a
certain drunkard in the village walks in italics. However, they are a friendly
lot. Once they see you on academic hallways, they wave at you with wide smiles;
the next question always hanging on their lips. Is your roommate in?
2. The
Holier than Thou – These are the type of roommates who invite their whole
church for youth fellowship in your room every afternoon. They sing choruses
and hymns loudly that the whole hostel will be aware of the revival meeting in
your room. They are quite unapologetic about the discomfort they cause you.
It’s the work of the Lord so thou shall not complain. Whenever a member of the
opposite sex visits you, they are quick to remind you that immorality is sin.
3. The
cockroach roommates – As the name suggests, these are roommates who exhibit
characteristics of cockroaches. They are not your official roommates but you
get to live with them all through the semester. Mostly, they are relatives or
friends who miss out on accommodation by unfair circumstances. You have to feed
them and shelter them while all they do is creep in late at night and feast on
remains. They are worse than cockroaches themselves.
4. The
exile maestro – These are roommates who invite their girlfriends or boyfriends
over for a month. On the first day, they will bribe you with delicious omena
and pretend to be all motherly telling you that they will not do anything. A
few nights later, you will hear noises that make you want to make babies. You will
plug in your earphones trying to drown the noises, but nobody can stop reggae.
The bed will be creaking to its rhythm, and you’ll listen to it anyway.
5. The
devil himself – These are roommates who are relatives of trouble, share mutual
friends with misery, and are direct descendants of the devil. They make you
regret bitterly all the cold mornings in high school you worked so hard to join
campus. They are out to see no good in you, working tirelessly to ensure that
their actions proudly sponsor every frown on your face. They are the campus
version of an insecure stepmother.