Man talk: Why men should manage their wives’ money

It is commonly known that a husband should manage his wife’s money. It is the secret ingredient of many successful marriages.

Millennial women hate the very thought of the idea, which is not fair. Monied women tend to make so many wrong financial moves, they need protection from their husbands.

Last year, Carol secretly bought a piece of land and you only knew when she discovered that the land she had bought had been sold to a million other people. Again, last year, against her better judgement, even after warning her a million times, she went ahead and invested hundreds of thousands in Bitcoin and she has been crying herself to sleep as the money went down the drain.

The other day, she suggested she wants to invest her money in Forex, and you went berserk.

“From today, I want to manage every single coin you make.”

“Can’t happen, won’t happen!” She furiously responded.

“Then you will keep buying land and pieces of property that don’t even exist,” you said, sarcastically.

“You are not any better with money!” she said, defensively.

“But at least I never buy bitcoins…”

“You suck,” she said. Defeated.

Heh heh.

“But seriously, I think you are better off taking money for your hair, makeup and kitchen stuff and the rest, give it to me. I know more about better investments than you do. And I can smell a bad deal from a mile.”

“I just made two mistakes and you are going to judge me by them until the end of time…”

“No. Women generally can be naïve when it comes to investments. You are more easily swindled than men. Most women find due diligence too tiring. You give up easily,” you advised her.

“Sounds sexist. I know so many men who have been swindled…”

“Only greedy men get swindled,” you said.

“Not naïve?” she said sarcastically…

She hates the idea, but you are insistent that you must be her financial manager. Nice women give their husbands their monies to manage.

“You know, Carol, husbands are supposed to be head of the family. In charge of finances and everything…”

“Where is that written?”

“In the Bible. Don’t they teach that in church? You go to church, I don’t.”

“No f**k*n* way I am giving you my money so that you can use to chase other women out here…It is what men do when we women give you our money and cars. Just manage your money and I manage mine. We can have one account to put money in for shared expenses…”

“What if you screw up again. You make a lot of money. Very soon, someone will come up with a stupid idea and you will buy into it…”

“It is my money. Not yours. Until I ask for money from you, don’t ever lecture me how I spend my money.”

She sounded hurt. So much for good intentions. One day, she will regret it.

@nyanchwani

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