Why do I get embarrassed around men I really like?

You need to practice matching the warmth of their greetings (Photo: ChatGPT AI)

Hi Chris!

Whenever a nice guy starts talking to me, I clam up with embarrassment and so another opportunity’s lost.

How do I learn to respond to a new guy? Fluffing It Hi Fluffing It! You know, what you say hardly matters at all! What matters is the way you say it.

So if you want the guys to like you, then you need to practice matching the warmth of their greetings.

Not too enthusiastic, or they’ll think you’re being pushy. Not too subdued or they’ll think you’re really saying no.

Because it isn’t what you say, it’s your mood that counts. You’ll be forgiven if your reply doesn’t make too much sense, but you must match a guy’s warmth, or he’ll give up.

So if he starts with some corny pick-up and you’re not inspired, then a cool response will soon chase him away.

But if he says something lovely and you’re impressed? Then your reply should be equally gracious. And after the first words? Well, the trick’s to keep building up the connection all the time.

Because once things start marking time, then everything stops. OK, sometimes something you say will fall flat.

That’s OK, just push on quickly with your next sentence! There has to be positive progress all the time.

It’s best not to say anything too revealing about yourself to begin with, but whenever your guy discloses something, however small, you should straightaway reveal something similar about yourself.

Perhaps up the ante a little by describing something slightly more personal. Chances are he’ll raise the stakes a bit more in return.

The trick’s getting the balance right between telling him too much and revealing too little. And if you’re keen to see him again? Then your first goodbye has to be just right! It’s actually very easy.

Just say something like ‘Maybe we could have coffee sometime? Here’s my number.’ Then he knows you’re interested, but still has to take the initiative before he gets any further.

So get out there and practice, you’ll soon find you’re enjoying every minute! All the best,

Chris