The aristocratic judgement

By John Gerezan

What do other inmates think about Justice Muga Apondi’s judgement in the celebrated murder trial of Thomas Cholmondeley (TC)? You must be wondering. As you read this piece, l can sense your anxiety to pick a scent of whether netizens think that colour and class were contributing factors and whether he should have suffered the same fate as the chap awaiting a date with the hangman for allegedly robbing his neighbour of a loaf of bread.

If you read this column on January 1, you will remember my promise to save the best for last.

TC is a tough chap. Forget about the skin, the property portfolio and the class into which he was born for a moment.

The brother is as African and Kenyan as they come. Fluent in Kiswahili and Kikuyu, the erudite 6’4" khaki shorts loving, cigar chewing brother is a simple fellow who can fit anywhere with ease. He is the first netizen whose farm (Manera) shares a fence with a prison. From the top floor cells in Hells Den (Naivasha Prison), one can see the grazing high breed dairy cows and the automated sprinkling irrigation system watering the picturesque baby corn farm hundreds of yards away.

Unlike the other drama loving nabobs who have previously found themselves in similar predicaments before, TC ametoboa without being admitted to those luxurious hospital suites. During his first neti tour of duty over the Sisina doze, the avid fitness buff sponsored the first ever Inter-prison sports fest exclusively for netizens, bought each netizen at Hells Den a pack of Milk and ngumunyu (bread) and capped it all by slaughtering a prized bull for Christmas. That should address your concerns as to his popularity with fellow netizens.

Humble but no handouts

However, this magnanimity masks a steely resolve to play his cards close to his chest. Do not for a moment expect him to open up and give you his personal stories. That’s a no-go zone. Neither should any smarter expect handouts like during Bro Paul’s era. The stock and barrel response will be: "Sina pesa. Mshahara yako imekutosha." Other than having a reputation for being tight-fisted, TC will go down on record as one of the most visited netizens in the history of this service. From family to friends, relatives and employees, TC cut the figure of m_nd· wa and_ (man of the people). It might surprise you that he knows practically all his workers and their families by name. His grasp of the finer details as well as the searing questions he asks his employees about the vast Soysambu spread while at the same time engaging them in good natured banter paints a picture of a serious CEO, his temporary status notwithstanding.

Upon his arrest almost three years ago, the neti legal team immediately went through the facts surrounding the case with a toothcomb and reached an unanimous verdict that a murder charge could not be sustained since the mitigating circumstances stood out clearly that there was no motive. Second, TC’s empathetic act of rushing the poacher to hospital showed that he meant well. What’s more, what does the KWS act say about poachers, bearing in mind that TC was a honorary game warden? So by and large, Judge Apondi’s judgement resonated well in here though we had predicted an acquittal.

Cheeky judgement

We also found the judgement well weighted and cheeky. Did you notice that all the legal precedents that the Judge quoted to trash the defence case emanated from the House of Lords — where TC’s papa should be a peer.

In effect, he was telling TC: "It’s not me. Ask Daddy and his buddies in the House of Lords."

Netizens are hoping that other judicial officers will write well researched and considered judgements like Judge Apondi’s, while those on death row are sending me vibes that they hope gava will favourably consider their plight and give them a second chance.

As for TC, l do hope that he writes a book, especially about that ka-corner office in a certain neti and whether when left solo with mamaa that day...ali do au zi....oooops! That was our secret.