I found out my husband has another family.

Dear Coleen,

I recently found out my husband has another family. A friend of a friend knew about it and felt I deserved to know.

He was always away a lot but, as he’s a salesman, I assumed this was down to his job. He’s now living with his lover and their kids full time because I threw him out.

I’m devastated and can’t forgive him, but we have children who have two half-brothers they knew nothing about. I don’t know if I should tell them. Even though I’ll never stop being angry with their dad, I’m worried about lying to the kids.

Coleen says.

You don’t say how old your kids are – if they’re very little it doesn’t matter for now, but if they’re aged 10 and up, I think they do have a right to know.

Naturally you can’t stand the sight of him but, although it’s hard, you have to keep your feelings out of it for the sake of your kids.

Explain that you’re telling them as one day in the future they might want to meet their half-brothers. You don’t want it coming as a shock later on in life.

I have a half-sister I haven’t met. I wish my mum felt she could have told me sooner. My ex-husband Shane was at a gig and someone tapped him on his shoulder and said: “I’m your half-brother.” They had a great relationship, but he was angry his mum and dad hadn’t told him.

They were probably protecting him, but he felt they didn’t trust him.