The art of being a mother

Motherhood is a revered art that comes with many responsibilities and challenges [Courtesy, Freepik]

Ups and downs, valleys and mountains. This is how a mother would describe her journey into nurturing a tiny human being until they are grown-up.

Motherhood is a revered art that comes with many responsibilities and challenges, but also brings so much happiness and pride at the same time.

Speaking to Eve, Beryl Achieng, a 30-year-old first-time mum with a 37-week-old baby bump, defined her journey as not easy.

“The expansion of the uterus especially during the third trimester when there is a lot of weight, the fact that sometimes you don’t feel like doing anything and not getting enough sleep because of waking up so many times at night to go to the bathroom are some of the things that can put down an expectant mother.”

For Beryl to adjust to the pregnancy journey, she resorted to working from home. She said walking for long distances was a good way to exercise until it reached a point where walking made her feet swell.

Her struggles were seconded by Catherine Wambui, a 30-year-old mother of two who is also expecting a third. She said the first three months of raising her babies were a nightmare.

“My babies suffered from colic pains and I was in and out of the hospital, Jacaranda Maternity for three months. The crying was a lot during this period, but thank God they were treated.”

Even with all the downs, when these ladies were asked how it felt like to be a mother, their faces lit up with happiness mixed with pride.

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“The smiles, the hands, there is usually too much love. I can’t wait for the third. I am not the only one, the siblings are waiting for their last born baby eagerly,” said Catherine.

“I have always wanted to see how my baby will look like, I know babies are a blessing and the thought of carrying a tiny little being that kicks in me makes me proud to be a mummy.”

For one to become a mum, there are so many dangers that one needs to overcome, and not everybody makes it through.

Ashley Muteti from the Zuri Nzilani Foundation, an organisation that walks with ladies throughout their motherhood journey said hypertension and haemorrhage are major causes of mortality rates.

Hypertension is high blood pressure while haemorrhage is excessive bleeding. Ashley added that close to 500,000 babies and an estimated 76,000 women die as a result of hypertension during pregnancy every year.

“Some of the symptoms include swelling on your limbs and face, blood pressure that goes up to 150, nausea, and pain on the right side of your tummy. All these presents themselves as if they are normal pregnancy symptoms and therefore majority of women don’t see them as complications.”

This does not mean that swelling in the said area is a medical issue. According to Ashley, extreme swelling accompanied by severe headaches, which are not responding to medication, experienced after 20 weeks of pregnancy is what should get you concerned.

Diseases put the lives of mothers and children at risk but so are drugs. A mother is expected to stay away from drugs like cannabis sativa, khat, alcohol, and tobacco for the betterment of the child.

Anthony Bwana, the founder of Drugless Generation Network, an organisation that fights drug abuse, and addiction as well as helping the victims, talked of how children have turned into addicts at a very young age.

“The 719 clients we have served are aged between nine and 45 years although the youngest addict we have interacted with was six. Some of these mothers use drugs like cannabis sativa to put their children back to sleep whenever they start crying. The result is a very young drug addict,” he said.

Anthony explained that whatever is consumed by the mother is what is fed to the baby through the blood and therefore, a child born from a mother who abuses drugs has so many complications like weight loss, yellow skin, brain damage, and many of them do not survive.

In the same case, when the mother does not eat enough food, the baby also starves in the womb. According to Eriss Khajira, this is one of the challenges faced by teen mums.

Eriss is the founder of Big Five, an organisation that aims at finding teen mums, bringing them together, taking care of them, and providing basic education to those who do not wish to go back to school.

“Initially, we started by installing libraries, but later realised that after Covid-19, so many girls were dropping out of the same schools we were trying to empower. Therefore, we changed our course to help teen mums,” said Eriss.

The Big Five has saved more than 50 girls as young as 14 got pregnant as a result of rape, transactional sex, or even naivety among others.

Eriss said most of these girls drop out of school due to poverty since they cannot provide for their babies, and neither can their parents. Regardless of the mother’s age, every one of them is forced to make a lot of sacrifices for the sake of their children.

Such organisations play a big role in terms of helping mums out with their diet, we all know how essential that is.

“Pregnant women are generally supposed to introduce an extra meal to their normal breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Pregnancy diet is more or less the same as a lactating diet, However, a breastfeeding mother should increase the intake of fluids,” said Hellen Owuor, a nutritionist from Jacaranda Maternity.

Hellen added that the fluids should be natural ones like porridge, tea, and especially water other than carbonated drinks like soda. She also advised lactating mothers to add soya beans to their porridge because it stimulates milk flow.

Eating healthy, staying away from drugs, and using the right products on your skin or your baby’s skin are things that should be taken seriously.

There are some products that mothers tend to use wrongly on their babies. According to Pascaline Njere who works with Johnson’s and Johnson’s, petroleum jelly falls under this category.

“When you talk about the baby’s petroleum jelly, most of the mothers use it on the baby’s face and body, which is not supposed to be the case. This product is specifically made to be used on babies’ butt cheeks as a barrier and protection against diaper rush.”

She said children lose moisture five times more than adults hence the need for a product like liquid oil that locks in the moisture. This can be applied directly to the baby’s skin or added to their bathing water. The latter method does not need application but just a nice pat and the baby will be fresh again.

As a mum, the dress code matters a lot. Louella Maternity Store founder, Naomi Mutua, said all that a mum should be concerned about is her and the child’s comfort.

“Maternity-friendly clothes should be comfortable for a mum because of the body changes they go through. During the pregnancy period, one will need stretchy clothes since they grow with your body. The preferred textile is any stretchy cotton.”

Louella is a store that stocks maternity-friendly clothes, from official wear to casual wear. Since seeing is believing, the store styled several expectant models during the Jacaranda Family Fest that took place on Tuesday, December 12.

The models walked down the aisle comfortably, exhibiting many fashionable options that a mum can wear.

The event was organised by Jacaranda Maternity as a way of celebrating their mums who now have great and happy families.

“We wanted to connect with the families that we have been serving for many years now. We also wanted to celebrate because we have had over 2,500 babies born in our hospitals,” said Kalie Gold, COO of Jacaranda Maternity.

According to the event organiser, Mercy Riziki, bringing family members, that is children, mothers, and fathers together was a good way to end the year.

“We had Christmas carols, a fashion show by expectant mums, acrobats, and Zumba, which is usually the highlight of all our events,” she said.