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Nine things you should never tell a Kenyan girl


Kenyan girls are probably the most sensitive girls in the region. All might be well until you say something she doesn’t want to hear. From then on, it could be a lifetime before you win her trust back.

1. Never ask her about her sexual past: There are guys who try to gauge their sexual ‘abilities’ by asking their girlfriends about their sexual experiences with their ex-boyfriends. I mean, how do you even start striking such a conversation and how does this help your relationship get better? Like you want to know how good the guys she dated were in bed. You are either funny or simply jealous. This can actually get you screwing the affair instead. You never ask a girl about her past sexual experiences.

2. Never try to scroll through her phone: According to a Kenyan girl (and yes, that is a universal code), mobile phones are personal gadgets and they are simply private. There is where she keeps her secrets. It is the worst of crimes to scroll through your girlfriend’s phone without her consent. It simply means you suspect and don’t trust her and you simply want to ‘catch’ her through telephone numbers or communications made on SMS or WhatsApp. This is a relationship breaker. Besides, how does it help making things better? As for your phone being private, it’s a topic for another day.

3. Hating on her ‘weave’: There is this belief that men don’t like weaves whether it’s their girlfriends donning them or their ‘side-kicks’. So what? Your opinion on her hair could be valid but you will escape much ugliness if you keep this to yourself. Your girlfriend is really attached to her hairstyle and her choice of dressing so don’t behave like you showed up in her life to make a total makeover.

4. Hating on her choice of friends: It is this simple, you have your boy moments and she has her girl moments. Some guys try to dictate the kind of friends their girlfriends should make. Some even try to impose friends. Why can’t you just let your girl be? It makes no sense to imagine the friends who make you happy are the same who will make her happy.

5. Dissing her because of her cycle: It is a fact; ladies can be emotional during that time of the month. It is biological that menstruation sends out signals that confuse even women themselves.  And here you are trying to bring be a doctor by asking her if she is PMS(ing). You are there trying to ask her if she is getting irritated because ‘it’s that time of the month”... A Kenyan girl? Boss, you just lost your cool.

6. Trying to compare her with your ex-girlfriend or mother: Buddy, you are dating her now; not your ex-girlfriend or mother. There are some comparisons that simply drive girls nuts. How do you start wanting your girlfriend to start being like your sister, mother, cousins and God knows who else? She is her own character and that is what you got when you hooked up. Gosh!

7. Telling her to quit her job for love: There are guys who are still so backwards that they think if their girlfriend is making more money than them they risk losing her at some point. That is called insecurity. You think by telling her to quit her job to become a ‘stay-at-home’ makes your relationship secure? Whatever was meant to happen will always happen. Let a girl make her own money.

8. You’ll never win the weight debate, don’t engage: The thing is, there is no correct answer to the ‘Am I fat?’ question. If you say ‘No’, then you are lying to guard her feelings. You’ll be straight up dumb to say ‘Yes’, on the other hand. Avoid this conversation at all costs, learn to avoid anything that can trigger this question (like disparagingly discussing a news anchor’s weight when watching the 9 o’clock news).

9. My age...? Now, that is for you to fill in...because anything beyond 21 is ‘21’


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