Why is it only a woman's job to cook?

It’s quite baffling how I always mention that I’m a feminist and men have the audacity to tell me that my job is to be in the kitchen. Don’t get it twisted, I can really throw down when I want to- have you eating a 3 course meal cause I’m good at desserts too. But dare you open your mouth to reiterate that old narrative that I’m supposed to be cooking -  my friend you will eat those very same words as your 3 course meal.

I remember one occasion when this happened. I’d spent the night at a guy’s house. He wasn’t my boyfriend or anything, nonetheless we were engaged in a very unorthodox sexual relationship but that’s beside the point. I woke up much later than him and I was super hungry because we had barely eaten the previous night. I remember jumping out of bed and walking to his kitchen waiting to see what this man had woken up so early to cook for me. To my surprise, this guy was seated in the living room reading a newspaper and there was no food in sight.

I ask the guy “Um, what’s the deal with breakfast?” and I will never forget his response. Yaani I was so shocked I actually laughed. He said “There’s sausages in the fridge and eggs as well. Feel free to make yourself some then make some for me.” Very few things rile me up but this comment, this comment right here! We argued for about an hour on who should cook, with me saying that I was the guest and should be cooked for and him standing with the argument that I should cook cause I’m the woman. Excuse me Kenyan men but since when did having a “nunu” mean that I come with in-built kitchen know-how? Some of you guys don’t even know how to treat your guests. If someone visits you ‘by your own invitation- give them food yawa, hospitality 101!

It’s interesting cause it’s not only men who hold this view. I remember a segment on Ghetto Radio where they were talking about how Nairobi women don’t want to cook or clean and so they wouldn’t make good wives. Even my own grandmother will always insist that the ladies should go into the kitchen and cook during family gatherings, and it just so happens that my naps coincide with cooking time.

Nonetheless, wanting to cook for your man is okay. Just because I’m a feminist doesn’t mean I will put down people who do not subscribe to my views (provided there’s mutual respect of course). However, if you’re only doing it just because you feel like you have to or your man will leave you, just stop; You are worth much more than a tasty chicken biryani stew surely. As for the men who hold these views, I’m even tired of addressing you all. I refuse to deal with someone who reduces my value to my cooking skills. If anything, unless you prefer starvation, you should know how to feed yourself.

Kenyan Mwananchi is a blogger at (https://wondalandavenue.blogspot.co.ke/) and enjoys long drives through neighborhoods she can’t afford to live in.