Bofficefriend: Monday to Friday lover

The mere thought that there’s another man out there who knows your woman and spends more time with her than you do is something no man wants to even imagine. That there’s another man elsewhere who pulls chairs for her, opens doors and brings her flowers almost every morning.

Now. There actually is, such a man. In her office. She leaves the house sulking because you haven’t paid the monthly water bill on time, she’s not talking to you and showing all the attitude in the world because you didn’t give her chama money last Saturday. But the moment she steps in office! Her mood suddenly changes and her best day at work begins.

Its the office boyfriend. This is the dude at your wife’s workplace who has mastered her like the back of his palm! He knows she likes her coffee black with three sugars. He knows she likes chocolates and prefers series over movies. She even has a weird addiction to cartoons.

This guy is the one she calls first thing when she gets to her desk, and would have a really bad day when he doesn’t come to work. Boy compliments her when you haven’t back home, when she left the house at 5am wearing a tight, above-the-knee skirt and six-inch heels. The two can’t clock in or out without seeing each other.

Truth be told, if you go around asking women who are employed if they have that special colleague of the opposite gender who always makes them feel special in office, you’d be surprised at the percentage that would respond to this in the affirmative. A work boyfriend is the ‘innocent’ male colleague at the office whom she always go for lunch with, or shares her packed lunch and fruits with. They work together to meet and beat deadlines, and confide in each other about office politics and other intimate stuff about their lives back home.

Such closeness is, however, not as innocent and harmless as it seems! It often leads to emotional and eventually physical infidelity. These two would often sneak out of office for an hour for brunch or funch romp somewhere within town. They know how to ‘eat and wipe their mouths on the floor’ like chicken, literally. When one is of a higher rank than the other, mostly the man, or in a different department, such afternoon takeaways happen in very calculated moves that no one senses anything.

This is usually the main pitfall in having a work boyfriend. Because when your attention slowly moves away from your primary relationship, there’s that emotional connection that keeps growing deeper, and this is even much more risky than the physical presence. A woman slowly detaches from her husband, as her boyfriends also does from his wife.

So when mama comes home at 9:47pm looking tired and complains of a sharp headache as a result of hectic work-related meetings and deadlines, the crazy Nairobi traffic and the high prices of fuel, then tells you she just wants to have a warm shower, check and update a few mails then sleep, haaa! She’s had her afternoon dose from her office boyfriend! Kneel and pray, baba.

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Kneel and pray. See, we know that during the day most of us are busy and you’d rarely get a hi text from the love of your life, perhaps just asking you how your day is coming along.

At work, there’s this one person who does this; passes passes by your desk just to know how you’re getting along, getting you coffee or tea, or your juice. Texts you and chats up to cheer your tired and stressed ass up. Simply, this is one gets it right always, any time, every day. Work relationships are convenient because basically no one, apart from one or two colleagues knows deeper than what meets the public eye.

Most of us spend 8-10 hours a day, five days a week at the office, others even extent to overtime and through the weekends. Then team building trips and seminars that you can almost be sure that the whole office will be paired up, each with their favourite.

Let’s not sink our heads in the sand! The moment you share your heart with someone else, the more you get close each day, you’re bound to get intimate. Easily so, eventually. And the more time you spend together, the deeper the bond. When you confide in each other and turn to them in times of need with work problems, or worse, marriage problems, that’s just when the rains begin!

Office boyfriends literally carry the day, and carry your women also! The innocent flirts are deeper than you think. The monthly late evening meetings and quarterly team building and CSR events out of town always end up in long term situationships and steamy sexcapades.