Why men are anti-Valentines

For some strange reasons, this day has forced men over generations to, every year, break their banks, all in the name of expressing love to their women. The culprit’s name is Valentine’s - the title ‘Saint’ has long been ignored by many of its adherents.

Now we just call it Valentine’s Day because who wants to think about saints and love at the same time? In history there are two Saint Valentines and they were both celibate monks who were preachers.

They were both murdered on February 14, in different years. Despite this gruesome origins Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate romance and love marked by a festival of candy, chocolate and cupids.

According to research finding from US personal finance resource Bankrate, millennials are more likely to overspend on Valentine’s Day than those from older generations.

And these are some reasons men don’t like this particular day; why many would prefer to attend the non-existing ‘Men’s conference’:

Money matters

“I hate Valentine’s due to how restaurants cash in. Everything is ridiculously priced unlike normal average nights, events curated for the same purpose charge twice or thrice for the same experience.

 Nairobi life does not guarantee such luxuries right now,” notes Thomas Kimto, 32-year-old city optometrist, sentiments which are echoed by Maloba, also a Nairobian.

“I am a true Luhya, I would rather buy my children chicken rather than waste money buying flowers for one person,” he says.

PDAs and unnecessary show-offs

“I do not really believe in such special days when we are supposed to do special things. I can see young people liking it, or if you happen to have a new girlfriend.

But do you really want to go with your spouse of 25 years on a Valentine’s retreat, eating alongside a dozen other couples that fancy six-course dinner?

Or would you not rather do it on any weekend you feel like it, have the attention of the whole staff and probably have a way better experience?” questions Dieter Neth.

Unilateral Concern

Truth be told Valentine’s Day seems to favour the girl child and a majority of men don’t feel that this is fair. The question that lingers among most men is, what is in for me? Why should I be the one doing everything?

Relationships uncertainty

Many men don’t have the urge to measure up to other couples. You might have bagged yourself a new girlfriend, but you are not even sure who the two of you are in the first place before plunging into a spending spree. 

She might be seeing someone on the side and she might use uncelebrated Valentine’s day as a sign of dumping you.

Commitment issues

Sometimes men have some unknown fears from his past relationships with lovers and friends. The experiences in these past relationships often affect future relationships, especially in the area of commitment.

Such scenarios can make a man hate Valentine’s Day since he himself is not sure whether that is the right person or the right thing to do.

“Sometimes men make a huge deal out of nothing to the extent of coming up with imaginary conferences.

This day cannot be avoided and any woman who says she’s not interested will still have a sense of missing out if doesn’t get celebrated.

If you’d like to get her a gift, don’t start in the ‘valentines’ section. Start with what you know about the person,” Says Atieno Oriwo, 24-year-old medical student.