Dating your friend’s guy is breaking girl code
By Diana Makokha
4 months ago | 4 min read
There are two very important people in a woman’s life. When a woman is in an exclusive relationship or marriage, her parents and siblings might not be as close, because there are things she wouldn’t share with them, or wouldn’t wish they heard.
These two VIPs in her life are of course her man and her bestie. She would introduce the two to each other, and pray they will be tight. Who wouldn’t want her two greatest persons to be best of friends? But trouble often brews when the two go overboard.
Men are sneaky and creepy. Men ruin friendships and bonds between girlfriends that have been around since childhood.
That Primary school deskie that you were with from class two in 1987 to class eight I 1993, that you kept the friendship throughout high school and now you’re big women in your thirties, with husbands and chidren, if you don’t sit well, your man might just break that relationship.
So why can’t we just stop making these strangers our friends? Well, he’s your bestie’s man. You have been to their house a thousand times; you even were among the bride’s maids during their wedding. Stop at that.
Don’t be so comfortable with and around him, some comforts are poison. You shouldn’t talk to him anyhow, call him unnecessary or request stuff from him without your girl’s knowledge or consent.
We have heard of women who call up their friend’s husbands or fiancé’s and meet them behind the friend’s backs! They would flirt, get uncomfortably cosy, chat and laugh, plan secret dates and picnics, request and send money, and they would still term it harmless.
Harmless? Unless you two were friends before he met your girlfriend, what business do you even have having lunch and dinner dates with a man who is not your husband, not your boyfriend, friend or relative?
How does it sit with you, that you spend hours in front of the mirror applying bags of foundation on your acne-prone face, do pink lippie, wear stilettos and your tight little black dress, just to go look good for your girl’s man? Without her knowledge? Come on, Philegona! The world isn’t as stupid as you think!
Myself, I don’t, and rarely talk to my friends’ persons unless it is very very necessary or urgent. That’s my rule. Unless I’ve tried getting my friend, severally in vain, is when I’d decide and look for her through her man.
I don’t entertain them anyhow, laughing with them alone and asking them stuff that would make them uncomfortable or suspicious of our friendship. I’m effing loyal to the core!
And if they’re the ones trying to find a way to get closer, or easy with me, that is the moment I’d run like a man woman! Runaway from problems.
See, a man will wink at you, or chat you up inappropriately so he sees how easy, available and accessible you can be, when he knows pretty well that you’re his woman’s bestie.
He would suggest ‘harmless’ coffee dates or even booze dates, promising never to let your girl know that you two met.
A man will rub your palm suggestively over a handshake, squeeze your boobies against his six packed body and be really creepy and act silly, sending signals but one thing you can be sure of is, when Agatha becomes suspicious of anything fishy between you two, mama you’ll be the betrayer of the century.
You seduced her bae into doing stuff, or, you’re actually the one sending signals, madam husband snatcher.
You’ll be the ndevoo working hard to break a happily ever after marriage that was built on Christ the Messiah, the rock. Girl will tell you things! She will tell your friends, her friends, your relatives and make posts on all the social media platforms for all and sundry, about how you’re a snake because si women we’re our own enemies.
These our men are interesting humans. This gender that denied Jesus? The same, same ones that one of them disappeared for three freaking days then came back claiming to have been swallowed by fish?
Fish!! Just be distant and safe. They will tirelessly hit on you, telling you nasty stuff about their women who are your friends, give you suggestive compliments and bombard you with diabetic names. Don’t fall for such bull if you value your friendship with your longtime girlfriend.
Avoid all, just avoid shit by staying away from our bestie’s partners
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