Confessions: I'm embarrassed I took back my cheating boyfriend after he got someone else pregnant

Dear Coleen,

Last year I received a message telling me that my boyfriend of four years had got someone pregnant.

Naturally, I was devastated and ended the relationship, even though I still had feelings for him.

I knew in the past he’d found it hard to remain faithful in other relationships and he decided to have therapy to help him overcome these issues.

I thought it was a very mature way of handling things.

Six months after breaking up we began seeing each other again, as it just felt right at the time.

We have now been back in a relationship for eight months.

We both regularly see my boyfriend’s child, as I believe nurturing the bond between them is very important.

However, I find myself constantly worrying about whether taking my boyfriend back was really the right thing to do, and can’t help feeling very embarrassed that I did it after everything he put me through.

I still love him – that’s never been in question – and I have started to form a bond with his child, too, so it would be even harder to leave.

How do I figure out if my decision was the right one?

Coleen says,

I applaud you for accepting his child and understanding how important their relationship is.

That takes a lot of strength.

I sense that you’re worrying more about what other people think – who cares? It’s not their life.

When it comes to other people, your attitude should be: It’s my choice and if it turns out to be a mistake, then I’ll live with it.

If you love him and it feels like the right decision for you, then it’s the right decision and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

It sounds like he’s trying, too, but he does need to know that you’re prepared to give it a good go because you still love him but, if he messes up again, there will be no more chances.

It might work out brilliantly, but it will take time for you to feel secure. You’re both making an effort and have accepted responsibility for his child, which is a great foundation to build on.

And if it doesn’t work out, at least you can walk away knowing that you gave it your best shot.