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Deny your man his conjugal rights at your own peril

Girl Talk

I have never shied away from proclaiming that Kenyan female politicians are not worth their salt. Most get into the murky puddles of politicking courtesy of their godfathers, which is okay. But then their politics are marred with conjecture, myopia, shouting and insults.

Take them to Parliament to debate issues affecting the common woman and the girl child, and their brains go numb. Save for a handful, the rest are withered flowers, who reek of ignorance and plain naivety.

Take for instance the women politicians who when confronted with contentious issues, ask other women to deny their husbands their conjugal rights. What nonsense! It annoys and sickens me to the pit of stomach that there are women out there who are so feeble-minded that they can actually  take this silly advice seriously. 

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My mother taught me that no matter how mad I am at my husband - and I mean a husband who has paid bride price or to whom I am legally married - I must never deny him two things: food and sex, much less for flimsy reasons like him not having a voters’ card or because someone somewhere said so. He is an adult who understands his democratic rights and so, how does our sex life come into it?

There is a reason why the term ‘right’ is attached to the word conjugal. He did not marry you to just cook, clean and nag. He could as well have hired a housekeeper and kept a cat to nag him. An important reason for marriage is to have sex - oh, yeah! - and  procreate.

Woman, a man can only pester you in the few months or years of marriage when your tits are perky. It’s only during this time that you can take a shower before bed, wear a fresh T-shirt and no panties to bed or some eye-popping lingerie, then deny him a romp because he has not given you money for a dress, or because he came home late reeking of alcohol, and ignore his ‘baby please don’t do this to me’ pleading.

But 10 years later, when your boobs are sagging and you are insulated in baby fat; when you go to bed smelling of sweat, clad in woollen socks and stinking headgear and bado unabana, you’ll be in for a shock. Unabana nini sasa? You think he’ll beg you? That is suicidal because he will have a very good excuse to take out that sexy secretary he has always fancied.

If you leave a cat starving and carelessly place the baby’s milk where the cat can reach, then you will have yourself to blame when it is your baby’s turn to starve. I believe that you can only deny your man sex when you have proof he is unfaithful, after all, who wants to be infected with STIs or HIV? On those grounds, it is totally comprehensible.

Let me enlighten you for the umpteenth time, men are like babies, handle them like you do kids. If you want something from the grown brat, make him his favourite meal, warm his bath water, massage his smelling feet for once, and unleash that style that made him dump akina Sarafina and Maimuna and settle for you...then tell him, “Daddy, si uchukue kura!”

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