How long should you wait before making love for the first time in a relationship

Is your relationship on schedule When you start seeing somebody new, there are all kinds of significant firsts: the first kiss, the first time you make love, the first argument, the first time you say the words ‘I love you.’ Below are a few relationship milestones and their estimated time frames. These timings are general and might not work for every couple:

The first kiss: After two dates or one week

The first kiss is when you will determine if there is chemistry between you. It tends to take place after or during the second date or after one week of going out. That first kiss is very important and can determine the course of the relationship.

If perfectly timed and executed well, it could mark the beginning of a wonderful romance between you and your new partner. If you move in too early, you could repel your partner and if you wait too long, you may find yourself relegated to the friend zone.

A woman will always give you clues that she is ready for you to kiss her. When she shows you she is ready to lock lips, apply the 90/10 rule of kissing: Move in close to your partner about 90 per cent of the way and let her move towards you the last 10 percent.

First-time sex: Two to six months

It is the eternal dilemma - do you sleep with your new catch on the first date, after three months or wait until you get hitched A lot of factors come to play - social expectations, gender roles, the excitement of being with someone new, as well as sex drive and hormones.

Every situation is different and you should never feel pressured to have sex with someone because you have been dating for whatever length of time and feel it is expected.

Having sex is a very personal decision. However, if you have been dating for over six months and the subject of sex hasn’t come up, you should take a long, hard and dewy look at the relationship.

Introduction to friends: One to two months

When a new guy enters your life, you get excited and want to include him in every aspect of your life. However, introductions to friends should be timed appropriately.

Normally, a minimum of one month of dating should suffice. You do not want to unleash your crazy friends on him too soon. Also, your friends might not take it too kindly if you are always unleashing new men on them every now and then.

Ensure that you are serious and can see a future with him before unleashing your friends on him. You don’t have to introduce each and every guy who asks you out to your friends. They will be willing to get to know him if they see that you are serious about him and he is not just another rebound.

Saying ‘I love you’: Three to eight months.

Saying those three words is regarded as one of the highlights of a relationship. Many people are hesitant  because saying it too early could adversely affect the burgeoning relationship.

Real love takes time to develop and saying those words prematurely may indicate that you are not serious about what is regarded to be a very serious matter. In addition to that, many people opt to wait until their significant other says it or gives an indication about his feelings.

Before you declare your love, make sure that what you are feeling is indeed love and not infatuation or lust. You should never profess your love while drunk or on any drugs. Also, be prepared to deal with the fact that your partner might not reciprocate.

Getting engaged: One to three years

So, you have locked lips, had incredible sex, met friends and family and said those three little words. What is left popping the question of course! Most experts recommend courting for a minimum of two years before getting engaged. Engagement is a big step and there are a lot of things to be discussed before taking it.

Have you discussed finances, children, religion and so on Have you had an argument Have you seen his reaction when he gets angry All these take time to manifest so it wise to take as much time as possible getting to know the person you are going to marry.

Of course there are people who will say ‘so and so got married after a month of dating and they have been happily married for 50 years!’ Those are isolated cases. Take your time on this one.

@roxannekenya