My boyfriend's ex just won't leave him alone

My boyfriend's ex just won't leave him alone

Dear Coleen

I’m 21 and my boyfriend is 29 and has a little girl from his previous relationship.

We have been together for 18 months and he split up from his ex-two years ago. My problem is she still constantly texts and calls him, asking him to meet her for drinks and if he wants to spend the night with her.

I know when we first started dating he slept with her and that didn’t bother me at the time because our relationship was still young and not serious.

However, it bothers me now that I’ve found he’s keeping things from me and not telling me the whole truth about her texts.

I understand they have a child together and will always be a part of each other’s lives, but I just wish she would realise he’s moved on and leave us alone.

How do I tell him that I don’t want him talking to her unless it’s about their child without causing an argument?

Coleen says

You might not be able to tell him without causing an argument, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell him.

She is being completely out of order and I’m guessing she’ll carry on regardless unless he tells her that he’s interested in talking to her only about arrangements for their daughter.

Stop being scared and tell him exactly how you feel.

Good on you for realising the importance of his relationship with his daughter, but that’s all it should be about – not his continuing relationship with his ex.

If he doesn’t see your point of view, then I’d think very carefully about trying to make a future with him.

If she texts asking him to spend the night with her, why don’t you reply and make it clear that he doesn’t want to do that because he’s spending the night – and every other night – with you.