Woman, 28, marries herself 'to defy society' after ditching fiancé
By MIRROR |
6 months ago
A woman has married herself at the age of 28 to defy the expectation that women should marry a man before turning 30.
Patricia Christine, now aged 29, spent just £49 (Sh7,500) to buy a wedding ring, jewellery, sunflowers and a dress for her big day on May 30, 2020.
The educator from Sydney, Australia, ended her engagement in 2013 when she realised marrying her fiancé would have been a mistake.
Eight years later and single, Patricia decided that a solo wedding would be the perfect way to commit to a future of self-love and growth, regardless of her relationship status.
She invited nine friends to her big day and they headed to a local nature park near her home.
There, her guests read out what self-love means to them.
Patricia then made vows to herself in an emotional, socially distanced ceremony that lasted half an hour.
The bride then shared a picnic with her friends in the park to celebrate her commitment to herself.
Her vows included: "I love me despite the mistakes I have made", "I commit to being kind to myself and trusting in myself" and "I commit to following my dreams no matter how big or small".
For Patricia, our society's obsession with people having their marriage, career, home and kids sorted by the age of 30 heavily influenced her decision to go ahead with her self-commitment ceremony.
However, not everyone was so sympathetic about her decision, with some "congratulating" her sarcastically.
Patricia said: "Society pressures us, particularly when we're nearing thirty to find someone and settle down.
"I wanted to defy societal expectations and show women that the most important relationship we have is with ourselves.
"My parents haven't pushed me to get married, but I feel society puts pressure on women especially to have everything figured out at such a young age.
"We search our whole lives to make a huge declaration to another but we don't do it for ourselves first.
"My self-marriage was born out of pain and disappointment.
"I was in an abusive, loveless relationship and had the courage to leave instead of continuing on and pretending everything was fine.
"If I listened to society, I'd probably be in a loveless marriage, depressed and feeling trapped.
"I wanted the day to be all about self-commitment and self-worth and I wanted to show that you can be completely worthy and completely loving all by yourself.
"Society often condemns us from tooting our own horns.
"We are shamed for recognising our own uniqueness and shamed if we don't follow the same path or what is deemed as socially acceptable.
"I bought myself a sparkly ring, some jewellery and sunflowers to mark my special day.
"My friends then stood around me as my maid of honour Tan, 28, read out beautiful things about my journey to self-commitment and I couldn't help but cry.
"After I said my vows we all sat down and had a picnic together and took some beautiful photos to capture the memory.
"But my ceremony did cause quite the stir and I'm not entirely sure why, with some people commenting 'congratulations' on my social media posts in a sarcastic way.
"What got under my skin was the fact that I was shamed for loving me.
"When fifty per cent of marriages end in divorce, why are we so quick to judge someone who's single?
"I know that some people will find holding a ceremony as an act of love for myself weird, but what I find weird is that people will happily commit to someone who doesn't honour them."
But despite marrying herself, Patricia has not ruled out finding a partner in the future and even believes that focusing on herself will ultimately make her more successful in love when she does find the right person.
"I believe that someday I will meet someone truly amazing who will be right for me, but the love I have for myself will always come first," she said.
"If you don't have love for yourself, you only attract people out of desperation and a need for co-dependency.
"My vows recapped all the hardships, lessons and learnings I have had over the last ten years or so and the promises I make to myself going forward.
"I love me and I can't wait to see where this journey of self-love and commitment takes me."
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