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Signs your relationship is holding you back

Girl Talk
 When you have different values you might end up losing sight of what is important to you (Photo: Shutterstock)

I have a confession to make. There are times when, after a breakup, I find myself flourishing. I become more focused on my work and I actually get down to turning ideas into reality. This got me thinking about relationships holding you back and I decided to give it a bit more thought.

While relationships are meant to provide companionship and can lead to a shared life, there may be times when you end up dating someone who seems to take you further and further from your goals. They might not do so outrightly but their attitude, goals, values might clash with yours making it harder to move to the next phase of your life. Below are some signs your relationship is holding you back.

1. You have different values

Among the conversations you should have as early as possible is what your values are. When you and your partner have different values, you might find yourself losing sight of what is important to you, even giving up your values to please your partner. A healthy relationship is one which doesn’t require you to give up your values. So if you realise that you both have different goals it may be time to rethink the relationship.

2. Your partner doesn’t support your goals

A partner who could care less about what you wish to achieve in life will only lower your morale when it comes to working on your goals thus holding you back. If, when you speak to your partner about your desires and they dismiss you or belittle them, point out that this is important for you. If they don’t listen you should get yourself out of there.

 There's nothing to be gained from having your flaws constantly being pointed out (Photo: Shutterstock)

3. They only see your flaws

Granted, we all have flaws but there’s really nothing to be gained from having them constantly being pointed out. A partner should be your cheerleader. If your partner can’t say anything positive about you and your accomplishments or they are constantly criticising you that is a sign of an unhealthy relationship that can lead to low self-esteem and even depression.

4. They don’t want you to have a life outside the relationship

Inasmuch as you might want to spend every waking moment with your partner, you need to have a life outside the relationship. A red flag in a relationship is when your partner tries to prevent you from meeting family and friends, interrogates you when you come from out, tries to isolate you isn’t on your team or asks you to give up your hobbies. He is trying to control you and keep you from things that stimulate you and make you happy. 

5. Your relationship interferes with your health and happiness

Your partner’s actions can lead to poor health and sadness. Should you notice that your mental health is suffering, you’re unable to concentrate on work, don’t enjoy things that you used to, etc. because of how your partner treats you, speak to them. If they fail to make an effort to change, you should remove yourself from that situation. Your mental health is too important to have someone constantly chipping away at it. When your mental health is good, you will be in a better position to achieve your goals.

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