Evewoman : Confession: New lover has lost his job, should I help him with cash?
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Confession: New lover has lost his job, should I help him with cash?

Everything was going great until last week when he suddenly lost the job he’d had for four years (Shutterstock)

Dear

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I’m hoping you’ll be able to help me with this. I’ve just started going out with this great guy and I’m really ­interested in pursuing things with him.

Everything was going great until last week when he suddenly lost the job he’d had for four years.

This wasn’t down to anything he did – just a sign of the times – and I feel so sorry for him.

He’s only just bought a house and will be unable to make the mortgage payments now. I have recently been left money in a will and I’d like to lend him some until he gets a new job.

He’s highly educated and very hard-working, so I’m sure it won’t take long.

It is a bad time of the year and I’d hate him to be struggling to live when I have money I could lend him. I have no doubts about him paying me back.

However, I have no clue about how to approach the situation.

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I don’t want to offend him or make him feel bad. I also know that he’d rather starve before he’d ask me for a penny.

I am hoping you’ll be able to give me some advice.

Response

Money can be a very thorny issue between romantic partners, friends and family, so I think you need to tread carefully, especially as you’ve only just started seeing each other.

You have to make sure you’re protected and there’s a schedule for him paying you back, so it would be worth getting some professional legal and financial advice.

If you have the money to give him and it won’t affect you ­financially, then why not offer to lend a certain amount to help him through this initial period?

Perhaps if you present it more as a business agreement rather than treating him like a charity case, it might be easier and he’ll know where he stands.

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However, I think there have to be boundaries.

Agree on a certain amount and stick to it because you don’t know how long it’ll take him to get back on his feet financially.

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I don’t know how he’ll react – he may be grateful and relieved, or he might be too proud to accept your offer, but you won’t know until you ask him.

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The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman.co.ke

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