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What to do if you have been ghosted

They just go quiet on you with no reason or explanation whatsoever (Shutterstock)

Intentionally or not, you have probably been ghosted by someone, or you ghosted someone, at one point in your life. Ghosting happens when someone you have been dating suddenly stops talking to you or spending time with you completely.

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Chances are, he or she will just go quiet on you with no reason or explanation whatsoever.

A painful situation to be in, it hurts because you have invested emotionally, physically or even financially in that person for some time only for them to ‘disappear ‘without a trace.

People ghost others for different reasons. These reasons may be genuine while in other cases, petty.

Whatever the reason may be, here are tips on how to overcome being ghosted.

  1. Accept that it has happened

We usually have some expectations whenever we are dating someone. Since things seemed to be going well on your side, it’s hard to believe that your partner wasn’t feeling the same. It hurts and it can be devastating so give yourself time to accept the situation as it is. Taking time is especially important because it’ll help you quell any anger and prevent any lash outs.

  1. Focus on yourself

This is the best time to focus on your happiness. During this period, you’re bound to be sucked into the circle of self-blame and self-hate which could only make things worse. Go to the spa and get a massage, go for a mani-pedi and treat yourself or even go for shopping. Retail therapy works! Do whatever you need to, just as long as it’s healthy. You’ll be able to distract yourself from the situation and you will begin the healing process.

Being ghosted is painful, it hurts as you have invested emotionally, physically or even financially in a person only for them to disappear without a trace (Shutterstock)
  1. Talk to someone about it

Talking to your friends, family and people you trust is a great avenue to help you move past the pain. People can give you a fresh perspective that you didn’t realize at the time and help you move on from the situation. Other than that, it helps you to vent and this is a form of therapy. So don’t keep it all inside or it can lead you to depression. Find someone you can trust and talk to them about it.

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  1. Talk to the ghoster

After coming to terms with the situation, you can now approach the ghoster. However, timing is crucial because you want to avoid having arguments and fights driven by emotions. Get the ghoster’s perspective as to why they did what they did and hopefully you can get some closure. You’ll also have an opportunity to let them know how hurt you were and that they could have handled any underlying issues in a better manner.

At this stage, ensure that you maintain your composure so that you can get your message across and hear what they have to say.

  1. Just let it go

Sometime the best thing to do is not approach the ghoster at all. This can open up old wounds and make healing harder for you. You don’t have to revisit the ghoster if you don’t want to. In fact, this might actually be the only closure you need.

  1. Don’t be afraid to date again

Being ghosted by someone you cared about is enough to make you never want to date again. Although it’s traumatizing in its own way, it doesn’t have to determine your future as far as relationships are concerned. After accepting what has happened and you have begun the healing process, it’s okay to open yourself up to potential partners. Who knows, the next person you date may be the one to love and appreciate you more.

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The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Evewoman.co.ke

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