Try it girls, ‘Sorry I don’t drink’ puts off Team Mafisi members

I am the poster child for responsible drinking.

For as long as I can remember, inebriety has never really appealed to me. My aversion to hard drinking probably stems from my childhood. I had the misfortune of growing up around reckless boozers who would piss themselves and spew obscenities every time they hit the bottle.

Witnessing these drunken antics at such a young and impressionable age made me believe that alcohol was the devil’s brew. I consequently swore off alcohol. When I became older, however, I realized that a glass or two of wine or cocktails wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

I discovered that moderation was the key.

The other reason why you will never catch me dead drunk is that, for some reason, I get debilitating hangovers even when I overindulge just a little.

Normally, my alcohol limit (the maximum amount I can drink without waking up feeling like I got ran over by a bus) is three glasses of wine or cocktail. Don’t even mention hard liquor to me.

I’ll get a hangover if I as much as breath next to an open bottle of vodka. I go out a lot to nightclubs and bars but I either don’t drink at all or drink very little.

I know you are probably wondering where I am going with all this. I was looking back at my life and realized how my drinking habits have adversely affected my dating life.

There was a period when I was in the university when I stopped drinking completely and I remember a couple of guys who asked me out during that period would quickly lose interest when I told them I didn’t drink.

I had an incident last weekend that brought back these memories. I reconnected with one my university guys recently and he was very keen on rekindling things with me.

We chatted a bit over the phone and he invited me out for dinner and drinks. I said yes. We agreed to meet at a chic bar later that evening. Now, I had fallen sick the week before and the doctor had prescribed some antibiotics and he had sternly warned me not to take alcohol until I finished the antibiotics.

I texted the guy and amusingly informed him that his wallet would be very grateful that night since I wasn’t going to partake in alcohol. I told him I had decided to stop drinking because I didn’t want to get into the whole illness thing. Shockingly, he immediately cancelled the date, saying there was no point of us meeting up if that was the case.

This was not the first time I had been given the cold shoulder because I didn’t want to drink. Sometime back, some colossal jerk literally kicked me out of his house because I refused to drink some cheap liquor he had bought!

I can imagine how he had it all figured out in his mind how the impromptu drinking session would culminate with wild, drunken sex on the sofa and I quickly shattered his dreams when I couldn’t even take a sip of the atrocity he was serving. (It was the cheap brand, foul smelling hard liquor and he wanted me to drink it on an empty stomach!).

Anyway, I am really glad that I am the way I am. There is nothing that weeds out those randy members of ‘Team Mafisi’ like mentioning that you don’t drink. You should try it sometime ladies. Very effecti