Of late, there has been a lot of talk about cheating among married women. Seems there is an outbreak, and it is alarming.
In the era of our parents, cheating was the prerogative of married men, but now every Mrs Juma, Mrs Kamau, Mrs Wambua and Mrs Ali has a secret lover. And they have kept it under wraps - you can never tell.
“But why are so many married woman cheating on their hubbies?” a friend who is still single but planning to get married in December asked me to avoid the trap.
As a married woman, I must admit that the temptations are real - strong and lethal from all corners.
But from my analysis and experiences, although there are many factors that contribute to a woman cheating, the greatest comes through social media. Cheating has basically become as easy as ABCD thanks to social media.
Facebook, Messenger, Instagram, WhatsApp have broken walls and boundaries in ways that are mind-boggling, even the erstwhile non cheaters are realising they have to stand strong, lest they should be swept by the wave of cheating.
Sometimes, it even means blocking hyenas on FB, if that naughty ex keeps sending you cheeky emojis. The moment you fall for his trap, that’s it. I will take the case of a friend who is going through a divorce after her husband discovered she was cheating on him with a ex from campus, to illustrate my points.
Recently, as I was catching up with her, she revealed some sobering truths.
“Imagine it just started with a simple wave on Messenger. Tim just waved. I innocently waved back for old time sake,” she confessed.
That simple wave led to a full blown affair that went on for two years before her husband finally discovered her dark secret.
I learnt a long time ago that it always starts with an innocent connection on either Facebook or Messenger or Instagram, so I avoid such. Married women are as vulnerable as other woman, and so when she is going through a rough patch in her marriage and by coincidence her ex waves at her, that’s it.
So back to my friends story. After the waving, the chats started; catching up for old school's sake and they would go late into the night. She tells me at first the conversations were innocent and clean but with time, they turned naughty and sexual.
Then came the coffee dates in the name of catching up and the many lunches that finally culminated into several getaways, where the two engaged in steamy sex. All along, she would lie to her hubby that she was on an out-of-town assignment.
Looking back, my friend has one regret.
“See that first time he waved at me on Messenger, I should never have waved back.”
And that is the advice I gave my young single friend -- unless you want to start a fire, do not wave back at potential hyenas on social media.
The writer is a married working mother of a toddler boy and a pre-school girl. She shares her experience of juggling between career, family and social life.