Guidebook into dating girls born in the 90s

Is it just me, or it is actually scary to imagine that a kid born in 1999 is now of consensual age for sex in Kenya? As in a kid born in 1990 is now 27 years-old, some are actually in meaningful employment and dating older men who have no clue on how to handle them.

1990s kid grew up at a different time. They grew with a remote in their hands-notice their sense of entitlement and phones as well-notice how selfish they are. Essentially, what an old boy like me might deem as disrespectful or shallow is basically a product of the environment in which these young girls grew up in. Hence, here is a timely guidepost into dating these girls who have morphed into fully nubile and virginal splendor.

For starters, know that they have grown up in an environment that is more democratic in sexual matters. So expect her to be too liberal. Often she will shock you with her sexual knowledge, and might suggest some bedroom gymnastic unexpected of girls their age, but remember access to porn is just a click away or a stall away in that estate movie shop.

Secondly, they are bound to be antisocial. If you can, snatch their phone and keep it if you are meeting her for a diner date. Or else, she will eat the dinner you while chatting with her friends and boyfriends from across the world, uploading the picture of the meal on Instagram, updating on Facebook and Twitter where she having her dinner et al. With such a zillion things competing for her attention, Tough luck, putting in a word in edgewise.

Thirdly, you need a sharper knife to cut through their narcissism. They are self-centred, unless you are sharp, they might challenge your wits to breaking point. They have watched so many movies and TV series, some of them live the life in the silver screen. Some come armed with sufficient knowledge and charm to penetrate them.

Fourth, you have to raise your standards. They have grown a world where they know what a woman wants-that huge phone, big car, vacation in sum picturesque ocean beach, name it. Gone are the days when a coffee or a beer date could get you a woman to bed. 1990s babes are slightly different. They demand better and they want better. If you cannot provide, move over.

Fifth, learn their music and lingo. Lately, language evolves faster and abbreviations and acronyms seem to be the standard practice. Be up to speed with them. If there is one thing that women hate more than a miserly man, it has to be a man who is a dinosaur in matters language. Their music might sound like trash, but respect it.

Sixth, you have to be fashionable. Nowadays, sweaty armpits do not connote hard work. That is a sign of a poorly kept man. You have to spruce up yourself well and keep up with the trends. They like fashion these kids. Dress well, I urge.

Lastly, ensure they have a national ID. Some of these girls are just precocious charges and they might mislead you into believing that they are old enough to be taken to a lodging. Man, the society rightfully is less sympathetic towards paedophiles. Take care.

If you can follow all these and have the patience of a fisherman, with luck you might be able to date one. All the best.

@nyanchwani

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