When makeup scares men away instead of attracting them

 When you want to start doing something that you are not used to, it is better to consult those who have done it for advice. However, girls can rarely give each other reliable advice on matters beauty as they are in perpetual contest about who is the fairest of them all.

But if girls were not as mean as they are to themselves, they would advise each other on how to put on proper make-up. The kind of things I see being passed as make-up by young women is simply horrendous. The other day, I was in a pub waiting for an exciting football match when two young women walked in.

Since the patrons were still few, it was hard to miss their movements in the pub. The two girls passed a feet from where I was seated and I played a game I like to play when I am bored. I look at a woman and I rate her out of ten on the looks department. As they passed, I ranked them and as the Americans say, I benevolently ranked them at four.

A few minutes later, they each took turns to go to the cloakroom, each tugging a bag big enough to smuggle a bag of cement through customs desk. Nearly half an hour later, the same girl would come out of the cloakrooms. But wait a minute! There was a transformation. The girl who walked into the cloakroom half an hour earlier was distinctively dissimilar to the one who walked out. I was flabbergasted. She looked like a scarecrow.

The amount of make-up that had been applied by the girl was so much that were you to come looking for her with a past mugshot, you would not place her. Young women, please stop giving your men too much trouble by applying layers and layers of make-up on your faces. Do you stop to place yourself in the shoes of your boyfriend? Do you even pause and reflect on the amount of chemicals that you make him eat in the name of pecking him?

Just imagine... you give a girl a peck, you come out looking like you were spraying a car. You give her a kiss and since she has put on too much red lipstick (I think it is lip-paste), you come out looking like a hyena that has just stolen dinner from a tired cheetah in Maasai Mara.

There are women you can hug in this town and as a man, you come out worse off as it feels like you have just wrapped yourself around a bag of cement with all its fine dust. Someone needs to open a consultancy on how to do make-up and do it responsibly. Our young women need to be coached on how to use beauty products to complement their looks but not replace them.

My dear sisters, you can be assuming that you are putting on make-up, but you could instead be compromising national security, for beyond a certain level, it ceases to be make-up and becomes scary disguise.