Some few weeks ago, I happened upon a rather interesting video courtesy of one of my WhatsApp groups. The video was a perversely entertaining fusion of comedy and tragedy.
There was this couple who was caught flagrante delicto and completely stuck in a most compromising situation. As is usual in Kenya, this event attracted many onlookers keen to see this couple in their moment of painful humiliation. The only shred of dignity that remained with this couple was the threadbare hideous looking blanket that covered them.
The highlight of the video was a feisty female mganga who took all the glory for the stuck couple (the man was accused of planting in someone else’s shamba). In fact, the cameo appearance by the cuckolded husband could in no way beat the sterling performance by the female mganga.
It had me thinking about how things have changed. There was a time when men believed that women are all heart, and that once a woman gives you her heart, well you have her private regions secure under lock and key. Most men wanting to boost their egos like to say that women are not prone to straying because they are fiercely loyal and hopelessly romantic. What hogwash!
Here is the thing, despite attempts by the human race to modernise and mechanise, we are at the core very primordial beings driven by very basic instincts and are not as sophisticated and superior to wild animals as we like to think. If in doubt, please examine our behaviour around pleasure, pain and competition.
So, for instance, if a woman is married to a man who is limp, one who is colourless and lacking in machismo, she will be on the prowl looking for some alpha male to conquer her. The alpha male might be the guy of the mjengo who spots better abs and tighter bums indicative of serious thrust of power when and where it matters most.
The alpha male might be the boss who appears to have a command over everyone and leaves people quivering in their boots when he barks orders. He might be the pastor who breaths fire and brimstone while listening attentively to the needs of his female flock. He oozes machismo, but the amount needed to trigger the cheating action in a woman is really a factor of her standards multiplied by the wimp, or limp factor in her current partner. All this determines if she will go out and take the time to get her fix, for, after all, cheating takes a lot of effort and is a risky affair, especially for married women.
So those men who have been strutting their stuff thinking that women will just not stray need to re-examine things. Women, as we all know, are very forgiving and tolerant but contrary to wide held belief, they are not that tolerant of bad lays. Simply put, a bad lay is a man who either does not get you to your preferred pleasure destination or one who gets to his pleasure destination too soon and way before you get to yours. This could all be happening against a backdrop of being a poor provider, being obese or being ill-equipped for the task at hand.
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The woman will stray if she deliberately or accidentally meets him at a point of need. At this point, all common sense escapes the woman and she becomes a helpless addict going for her fix time and again.
That might explain why women have been known to leave the leafy suburbs to diligently visit a bedsitter in the rather seedy side of town. It all boils down to how good the lay is, especially compared with what she has to work with at home.
Women have been getting side action since time immemorial mainly because they tend to be more discreet and calculating than men. So whenever a woman is caught like the one in the video, it is either because she is incredibly careless, hopelessly hooked on the pleasure drug the man is giving her or she is just trying to make a point to her cuckolded and limp partner.