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2017-01-11 07:57:39 The Standard : Eve Woman 40 58
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He loves me but I can't quit prostitution

Photo: Courtesy

I met this guy through a friend who had asked me to accompany him to a party. I am 28, have a BA in Economics and the first born. I work at night in town entertaining men to earn a living because I have not found a good job for the last four years. The guy I met does not know what I do but his best friend who invited me over is my regular client. This guy has fallen in love with me and I think I like him a lot but I don't know how it will be if he found out about my night job. I need a man to marry me and support me so if he does that I will leave this job. Should I tell him about it? He believes I work as a cashier in a Casino. {Ndunge}

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Your Take:

The country is facing a big problem with the rising unemployment and I feel sorry that you have to do this despite your level of education. However, you should leave that job if you want to build a family and look for a better one or start a business. I tried getting a job for a year until I gave up and resorted to business. It is working well for me.

{Jeff Chepkwony}

You are still young so do not despair. However, remember that you body is God’s temple and He would not condone this. There are many unemployed people but they do not always turn to prostitution to earn a living. If he is serious with you, tell him everything. He may accept or reject you thereafter so keep an open mind. Do not lose hope.

{Ouma Ragumo, Sifuyo}

First, you need to know your HIV status then reflect on what you want for your future. There are many opportunities now for university graduates like yourself so you just have to look and you will find. Leave that job for now and concentrate on getting a better one that prepares you for the life ahead so you could live a good life.

{Onyango Outha, Jauduny}

If you really love this man, tell him everything about your past before someone else does. Make him understand you are set for the life of a married woman and you really love him. If he has no problem with your past, then tell his friend that you’ve closed shop and settle down in your marriage. Keep looking for a job and you will find one.

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{Tasma Charles}

His best friend is the one who introduced you to him and he is the one who will tell him everything about you also because he has sexual interest in you. Do not lose hope especially armed with a BA in economics. Get focused and move on with life away from commercial sex work. Wish you all the best in finding someone to love and take care of you.

{Kioko Musomba}

Ndunge, grab this opportunity in earnest. Remember God answers our prayers in different ways and this could be your answer. If you confess to God, you will be totally forgiven and you won’t have to tell him anything. This is your chance, grab it or lose it.

{Dr. Mbandu - Ruiru}

It is hard to live on a lie and at some point you will have to say everything. I believe it would be wise to tell him everything early. The truth will always set you free. If he truly loves you, he will accept you and work hard to give you a decent life. You cannot run away from truth.

{Calvin Queens}

Counselor’s Take:

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Men, their egos and their women:

Ndunge, it is important that you understand the thinking of men with regard to their women. One, men believe that they should be the ones to break the virginity of the women they marry. Worst case scenario, he should be the third man to have ever gone down that route.

Anything past that is not acceptable. Two, it would take divine intervention for a man to court a woman who used to do that job you do with the intention of marrying her more so if another soul knows about it. Adding insult to injury, his best friend is your regular client – this is not looking good for you. However, all is not lost; there are ways you can go around the issues that are putting you at a point of disadvantage.

The law of power and survival instinct:

In his book, The 48 Laws of Power, Robert Green encourages sincerity and ingenuity with your opponents but emphasizes on the need to withhold some critical information until it is expressly requested for.

 In your situation, I don’t think it is necessary for him to know what you are doing. Instead, you should bring this casino cashier story to an end. This could be through retrenchment or other means. If he is really interested in your hand in marriage, he will want to come by your place of work or to send a bouquet of flowers. The next thing is to talk to your client who happens to be his best friend to get his silence on this matter. If he wants what is best for his friend he should keep his mouth shut.

This would not necessarily constitute cheating rather it is acting on your instinct to safeguard your well-being. Remember, at this point you have everything to lose by disclosing the whole truth. Why not work it this way that at least gives you a chance as opposed to disclosure which will more or less lead to him leaving or putting you out of his life? {Taurus}

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  • He loves me but I can't quit prostitution