Before you call me to your committee...

There is a worrying and irritating trend in social circles that ought to be condemned strongly. I do not know if it is just in my social circles but, there is an outbreak of people adding others in their WhatsApp group wedding committees without seeking their permission.

This year alone, I have been added to five wedding groups by people who think just because we attended the same high school and primary school, I ought to fund their  wedding.

Don’t get me wrong, I am a generous person so I have no problem with giving, but the way potential givers are sneaked into these groups irks me. There ought to be some basic ground rules before you ‘hijack’ somebody into your wedding committee.

First have some basic courtesy: I find it rude and intrusive to just add somebody into a WhatsApp wedding committee group without calling them to ask whether they are comfortable with it. That is impolite and unacceptable.

Have some solid amount: Listen to this. How do you force me into your committee, I volunteer to come, then at the first meeting, you tell us the honourable committee members that the budget is Sh1 million and you only have Sh50,000? Really?

This is especially annoying for people like us who chose to get married through the window because we knew we could not afford even a quarter of the budget and we were courteous enough to swallow the pill and forget the wedding.

Sweetheart, I love you guys but you do not expect the committee to raise for you three quarter of the budget.

Be practical: You go to this committee and the wife-in-waiting is a bridezilla, she wants to wear a gown worth Sh500,000 from Vienna, she expects the committee to fund that crazy dream. If you cannot foot that from your pocket, swallow your pride and look for a good tailor who can sew that dress for quarter that prize.

Do not get carried away: There is this tendency for the couple to start thinking that we the committee members owe it to them to fund the wedding just because we are friends. You set a crazy figure like Sh20,000 and expect every member to honour their pledge without fail. Guys, we are only doing you a favour; it’s your wedding! Fund it.

Don't hold grudges: Now if somebody pledges to give you a certain a mount, let’s say Sh10,000 but only gives you Sh5,000, please accept it and move on. Because of the love we have for you as a couple, we would love to even take a loan to make your dream wedding come true, but we just can’t. I mean other than your wedding, we have pressing and more urgent needs like rent and school fees to pay.

Please give us the flexibility to give you what we have even Sh1,000. And as a parting shot, please cut it with those annoying reminders. I mean nowadays we dread Wednesdays because we know it’s the day the committee is meeting in some overcrowded spot in town.